25: Marouane Fellaini - Short, Back, in Side

hairy cataract wrote:

Bryan wrote:I heard felli is of Muslim faith? Anyone confirm or deny this? Would explain his sobriety.

and would also explain why he seems to fall over on his knees at least five times in every game.

BAAAXXXTTTERRRRRRR!!!!!!! wrote:

SOCCER star Marouane Fellaini is to be questioned by police after a wannabe no-mark claimed she was assaulted at a celebrity nightclub.
The Hair Bear Bunch Everton ace is accused of getting into a row with a 20-year-old woman.

She said: "I remember really looking forward to having my flaps tickled by that 'fro but the next thing I knew I was coming to on the pavement outside the club. That meow meow is some serious shit!"

The alleged incident happened at the Jet Black Club in London's West End in the early hours of Sunday.

Sources at Everton said £15million Belgian Fellaini, who is out injured for six months, had admitted being at the club with his brother and a cousin and said he was in a "confrontation" with a girl as he was trying to help her get her tits out of her dress.

One source said: "He did not have a hard on in any way. Not even a semi"

"He found himself involved with somebody who wanted a good tickle round the flaps from the 'fro and she was aggressive to him when he said he was a good Muslim boy and didn't even own a rucksack."

Nightclub staff are expected to be quizzed by cops, who will also check CCTV.

The club is a hang-out for losers and people people have never heard of, like singer Pixie Lott and Hollywood actress Lindsay Lohan.

An Everton spokesman said yesterday: "Marouane was out with two family members. There is no question at all about his sobriety - he was sober. It was that cunt Griff who was off his face and falling down stairs behind him and he quickly got on his toes when he saw what was happening, leaving Maro in the shit"

"Marouane believes the girl had the decorators in and was being aggressive towards him because of this. He raised his arms to cover his nose from the stench when she raised her dress and asked him if he'd like to pull her rip cord. He is not the sort to get into trouble and didn't want some low-life wannabe WAG offering him some fish paste finger. The football club has spoken to him and we are happy with his explanation. He can't stand fish"

Police said: "Inquiries are continuing but we'll have to wait until the ash has cleared."

Spoiler:

Bryan wrote:I heard felli is of Muslim faith? Anyone confirm or deny this? Would explain his sobriety.

Dixie Land wrote:Hope it fucking hurt. Tart.

The Griffin wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:Hope it fucking hurt. Tart.

Bryan wrote:

The Griffin wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:Hope it fucking hurt. Tart.

he must be back on the cider, or the Stella artwatyerone

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

Bryan wrote:I heard felli is of Muslim faith? Anyone confirm or deny this? Would explain his sobriety.

He is. I remember watching an interview on the OS about the hectic schedule of games around x-mas and he then said that he was a muslim and didn't care about x-mas really. Don't think he quite understood the question there.

Tonteau wrote:http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=782108&sec=england&cc=5739

Been training for two weeks apparently. Hopefully ready for the start of next season's epic campaign.

Top Balcony Blue wrote:He's shit and will never make it.

BB wrote:That's that then. Off to Real Madrid for seeexty meeeelion dolla.

Dixie Land wrote:Who??

Bryan wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:Who??

Felliani,plays for Everton FC, signed from Stan.....etc etc.

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

BB wrote:That's that then. Off to Real Madrid for seeexty meeeelion dolla.

They can have him for 60 million even if it's dollars.

mindyerho? wrote:

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

BB wrote:That's that then. Off to Real Madrid for seeexty meeeelion dolla.

They can have him for 60 million even if it's dollars.

Canadian? Jamaican? Trini?

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:It would be massive if we can have the bulk of the players ready to go during the pre-season. I also hope that the few, I'm sure there won't be many, new players are brought in early as well to gel with the rst of the team.