Everton - Dyche Jnr

The game the entire world, possibly galaxy, has been waiting for is near - Everton playing Burnley at the hollow ground we refer to as Goodison Park.

The big question is, which Everton team will show up? From what I read (it was kind of difficult to decipher this from the highlights), we played better the last 30 minutes against the Barcodes. So, is that the side that's going to show up on Saturday? Or the one that played the first 60 minutes in that game?

And what about Burnley? An inspiring point gained at Chelsea last weekend despite playing with 10 men for more than half of the game, and going behind twice after the sending off yet managing to score twice (I mean, scoring twice - what the hell is that all about?) to get that point. Or there have been other games where they have been really bad. And I'm talking Everton bad, that's how bad they have been at times.

Good luck predicting this one.

Must win...

Our only hope of survival is to win the 4 'winnable' home games... ie this one, Forest, Brentford & Sheff U.

That will give is 38 points... and we will get 4 taken away by the corruption league for being financial arseholes.

but I think 34 is enough to survive

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:The game the entire world, possibly galaxy, has been waiting for is near - Everton playing Burnley at the hollow ground we refer to as Goodison Park.

The big question is, which Everton team will show up? From what I read (it was kind of difficult to decipher this from the highlights), we played better the last 30 minutes against the Barcodes. So, is that the side that's going to show up on Saturday? Or the one that played the first 60 minutes in that game?

And what about Burnley? An inspiring point gained at Chelsea last weekend despite playing with 10 men for more than half of the game, and going behind twice after the sending off yet managing to score twice (I mean, scoring twice - what the hell is that all about?) to get that point. Or there have been other games where they have been really bad. And I'm talking Everton bad, that's how bad they have been at times.

Good luck predicting this one.

Our improvement late on against Newcastle was largely due to the subs - Gomes and Garner gave us some composure and purpose in the middle. We were still shit, just less shit. There is only one Everton and that's the shit one. That's the Everton that will turn up on Saturday. We are considerably more shit when Garner doesn't start.

The question is whether a shit Everton will still be good enough to beat a shitter Burnley. My one trip to GP this season was to watch us knock this lot out of the Carabao with minimum fuss, despite not playing that well ourselves. That was during our good run, when we were doing two simple things - we were solid and organised defensively, and we were taking a few chances from time to time.

Those two basic elements of the most basic game in the world are not present in our performances currently, and they are all that we have to get back to comfortably survive this latest skirmish with hell. I listen to my lads talking all the time about stuff like the low block, inverted full backs and transition, but miserable old fuckers like me who don't consider Pep to be some kind of football equivalent of Stephen Hawking understand that football is really simple. Just be hard to beat and try to stick the ball in that net thingy from time to time. (No not that net Seamus, the other one.)

Pep and Man City are like a Formula One team really, aren't they? Is the driver responsible for all that success, or the car? I'm not outright saying he's a fraud. I'm just asking why a team owned by an oil state and featuring Haaland, Stones, Doku, Gvardiol, Foden, Rodri and de Bruyne is only 3rd in the Prem with 8 games left. If I could be arsed to make my Premier League XI it could easily feature 5 or 6 City players, maybe more. They should be a billion points clear.

I digress. Back to our six-pointer, and I can't believe I'm worried about a team that I was laughing at and mocking, at GP in the autumn. That win really was so easy I thought I was back in the mid-80s. I'm not sure whether Kompany has adjusted or not, I haven't seen anything of Burnley during their mini-good run. All we did in the Carabao game was press them in their own penalty area while they tried to tiki-taka their way up the field, and they kept on losing it and giving us chances.

We should win this one. The monkey is off DCL's back so I'll go for 2-0, both goals coming from winning back possession in the Burnley six yard box after 19-pass moves between the Burnley goalkeeper and full backs that advanced them, World War I style, about 4 feet up the pitch.

we will lose for two main reasons.

1. we need to win
2. I tipped us to win easily in the tipster

I’m going to this one. Only one question for me really:

“Why am I going to this one?”

I really really dont want to go, but my lad has nagged me to death so im going to face the torture. We will find a way to lose, its what we do, but hey ho, fuck it!!
By the way, William Hill have Double chance Burnley/Draw and 5/4. Absolute crazy odds and I have lumped on. May as well make some money out of the misery, and if we actually win I'll be so happy I wont give a shit about losing £50

Garner, Gomes, DCL, and Seamus all start.

Holy crap! DCL scores. But what a fook up from the Burnley goalie. I almost feel sorry for him.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

We should win this one. The monkey is off DCL's back so I'll go for 2-0, both goals coming from winning back possession in the Burnley six yard box after 19-pass moves between the Burnley goalkeeper and full backs that advanced them, World War I style, about 4 feet up the pitch.

Wasn't far off.

It's genuinely funny. There were 20 seconds left in the first half and Burnley still can't just hit it long.

Anyway, big win. Is MotD still a thing?

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

We should win this one. The monkey is off DCL's back so I'll go for 2-0, both goals coming from winning back possession in the Burnley six yard box after 19-pass moves between the Burnley goalkeeper and full backs that advanced them, World War I style, about 4 feet up the pitch.

Anyway, big win. Is MotD still a thing?

Yeah, we'll be on last.

Good to win a game at last. Luton's late winner is annoying but it's still in the PSR committee's our hands. Brentford in the thick of it now too.

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:we will lose for two main reasons.

1. we need to win
2. I tipped us to win easily in the tipster

Negative sh*t

Armchair wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

We should win this one. The monkey is off DCL's back so I'll go for 2-0, both goals coming from winning back possession in the Burnley six yard box after 19-pass moves between the Burnley goalkeeper and full backs that advanced them, World War I style, about 4 feet up the pitch.

Anyway, big win. Is MotD still a thing?

Yeah, we'll be on last.

Good to win a game at last. Luton's late winner is annoying but it's still in the PSR committee's our hands. [/]Brentford in the thick of it now too

Crystal Palace as well just a point ahead -13 goal difference.

SEFTON wrote:

Armchair wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

We should win this one. The monkey is off DCL's back so I'll go for 2-0, both goals coming from winning back possession in the Burnley six yard box after 19-pass moves between the Burnley goalkeeper and full backs that advanced them, World War I style, about 4 feet up the pitch.

Anyway, big win. Is MotD still a thing?

Yeah, we'll be on last.

Good to win a game at last. Luton's late winner is annoying but it's still in the PSR committee's our hands. [/]Brentford in the thick of it now too

Crystal Palace as well just a point ahead -13 goal difference.

And Palace don't have a great run-in either. Unlike us, they don't have any fellow relegation contenders to play. Fulham away and West Ham at home look like their easiest remaining games.

SEFTON wrote:

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:we will lose for two main reasons.

1. we need to win
2. I tipped us to win easily in the tipster

Negative sh*t

yeah I know... I thought I'd finally been ground down there Sef ... but hey ... 3 points

UTFT

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

SEFTON wrote:

Armchair wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

We should win this one. The monkey is off DCL's back so I'll go for 2-0, both goals coming from winning back possession in the Burnley six yard box after 19-pass moves between the Burnley goalkeeper and full backs that advanced them, World War I style, about 4 feet up the pitch.

Anyway, big win. Is MotD still a thing?

Yeah, we'll be on last.

Good to win a game at last. Luton's late winner is annoying but it's still in the PSR committee's our hands. [/]Brentford in the thick of it now too

Crystal Palace as well just a point ahead -13 goal difference.

And Palace don't have a great run-in either. Unlike us, they don't have any fellow relegation contenders to play. Fulham away and West Ham at home look like their easiest remaining games.

Interesting...

Very weird to be coming out of Goodison and not having to walk past celebrating away fans.

I thought were were dreadful, in a kind of solid and dull way, but three points is three points and all that. Branthwaite was excellent and - for me - the game ended the "DCL or Beto" debate. DCL is a footballer, not a great one, but a decent one, while Beto is a lumbering throwback who would have struggled in the old First Division, let alone the modern Premier League. He should only be thrown on for the last ten minutes if we're chasing the game or, perhaps to better effect, if we're holding on and need someone to crash around up front causing mayhem.

Anyway, if it wasn't for the corrupt PL/our corrupt owner, we'd be on 35 points and getting our towels ready for the beach. Fair play to Dyche (again). he's made a fucking appalling squad quite difficult to beat, even if they are very rarely able to win. If we do stay up and have to sell our few half-decent players, we are so relegated next season. Our only hope would be if Leicester come up and start on minus 8 points, and Ipswich come up with them because surely they can't be any good - I mean, they're fucking Ipswich.

hairy cataract wrote:Very weird to be coming out of Goodison and not having to walk past celebrating away fans.

I thought were were dreadful, in a kind of solid and dull way, but three points is three points and all that.  Branthwaite was excellent and - for me - the game ended the "DCL or Beto" debate.  DCL is a footballer, not a great one, but a decent one, while Beto is a lumbering throwback who would have struggled in the old First Division, let alone the modern Premier League.  He should only be thrown on for the last ten minutes if we're chasing the game or, perhaps to better effect, if we're holding on and need someone to crash around up front causing mayhem.

Anyway, if it wasn't for the corrupt PL/our corrupt owner, we'd be on 35 points and getting our towels ready for the beach.  Fair play to Dyche (again). he's made a fucking appalling squad quite difficult to beat, even if they are very rarely able to win.  If we do stay up and have to sell our few half-decent players, we are so relegated next season.  Our only hope would be if Leicester come up and start on minus 8 points, and Ipswich come up with them because surely they can't be any good - I mean, they're fucking Ipswich.

....aaaand ... SheffU & Burnley are gone, so either Luton or Forest will still be around next season... and they are both really gash... Luton especially when Barkley fucks off in the summer to a club close to the beach in Spain or for some Saudi blood money ... so we can be shit again next season & Leicester, Ipswich & Luton (or Forest) can go down

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Very weird to be coming out of Goodison and not having to walk past celebrating away fans.

I thought were were dreadful, in a kind of solid and dull way, but three points is three points and all that.  Branthwaite was excellent and - for me - the game ended the "DCL or Beto" debate.  DCL is a footballer, not a great one, but a decent one, while Beto is a lumbering throwback who would have struggled in the old First Division, let alone the modern Premier League.  He should only be thrown on for the last ten minutes if we're chasing the game or, perhaps to better effect, if we're holding on and need someone to crash around up front causing mayhem.

Anyway, if it wasn't for the corrupt PL/our corrupt owner, we'd be on 35 points and getting our towels ready for the beach.  Fair play to Dyche (again). he's made a fucking appalling squad quite difficult to beat, even if they are very rarely able to win.  If we do stay up and have to sell our few half-decent players, we are so relegated next season.  Our only hope would be if Leicester come up and start on minus 8 points, and Ipswich come up with them because surely they can't be any good - I mean, they're fucking Ipswich.

....aaaand ... SheffU & Burnley are gone, so either Luton or Forest will still be around next season... and they are both really gash... Luton especially when Barkley fucks off in the summer to a club close to the beach in Spain or for some Saudi blood money ... so we can be shit again next season & Leicester, Ipswich & Luton (or Forest) can go down

We planning next season's relegation escape already? I like it, that shows confidence. If there's one thing Everton are good at nowadays, it's relegation battles. We're the new Coventry.

I've seen Ipswich a couple of times recently. They'd be like Luton, they'd be irritatingly spunky, wouldn't go back down again without a fight.

Villa built a CL squad off the back of selling Grealish for £100m. Exciting to think what we could build if we sell Onana and Branthwaite for £50m each. My predicted new signings this summer:

Dietmar Scheisse, veteran lower league German centre back (free).
Ineptinho, 5 ft 2 in 37-y-o Brazilian playmaker from some Saudi club (free).
Dave Smith, brickie from Allerton. Will play anywhere, he's just looking to get fit really (free).
Ross Barkley from Luton, £87m

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Very weird to be coming out of Goodison and not having to walk past celebrating away fans.

I thought were were dreadful, in a kind of solid and dull way, but three points is three points and all that.  Branthwaite was excellent and - for me - the game ended the "DCL or Beto" debate.  DCL is a footballer, not a great one, but a decent one, while Beto is a lumbering throwback who would have struggled in the old First Division, let alone the modern Premier League.  He should only be thrown on for the last ten minutes if we're chasing the game or, perhaps to better effect, if we're holding on and need someone to crash around up front causing mayhem.

Anyway, if it wasn't for the corrupt PL/our corrupt owner, we'd be on 35 points and getting our towels ready for the beach.  Fair play to Dyche (again). he's made a fucking appalling squad quite difficult to beat, even if they are very rarely able to win.  If we do stay up and have to sell our few half-decent players, we are so relegated next season.  Our only hope would be if Leicester come up and start on minus 8 points, and Ipswich come up with them because surely they can't be any good - I mean, they're fucking Ipswich.

....aaaand ... SheffU & Burnley are gone, so either Luton or Forest will still be around next season... and they are both really gash... Luton especially when Barkley fucks off in the summer to a club close to the beach in Spain or for some Saudi blood money ... so we can be shit again next season & Leicester, Ipswich & Luton (or Forest) can go down

We planning next season's relegation escape already? I like it, that shows confidence. If there's one thing Everton are good at nowadays, it's relegation battles. We're the new Coventry.

I've seen Ipswich a couple of times recently. They'd be like Luton, they'd be irritatingly spunky, wouldn't go back down again without a fight.

Villa built a CL squad off the back of selling Grealish for £100m. Exciting to think what we could build if we sell Onana and Branthwaite for £50m each. My predicted new signings this summer:

Dietmar Scheisse, veteran lower league German centre back (free).
Ineptinho, 5 ft 2 in 37-y-o Brazilian playmaker from some Saudi club (free).
Dave Smith, brickie from Allerton. Will play anywhere, he's just looking to get fit really (free).
Ross Barkley from Luton, £87m

nice signings there Rotts ... and don't forget we will have Maupeydick back from his loan at Brentford & Holgate from Sheff U... they will be like new signings

...and surely Andy van de Meyde will be fit soon too!!! What with that and the Fortress Funding money, which is just around the corner, the future looks amazing!!!

..and havent we recently signed some wonderkid, Martin Murray?? He is surely the new messiah? Hasnt made an appearance yet.

It looks inevitable that we lose at leat 2 of our best players. I just hope one of them isn't Branthwaite. Then there are the players whose contracts come to an end like the Duke and Gomes. The tam will need a major rebuild and who do we trust to put togethe?

Yankthattoffee2 wrote:It looks inevitable that we lose at leat 2 of our best players. I just hope one of them isn't Branthwaite. Then there are the players whose contracts come to an end like the Duke and Gomes. The tam will need a major rebuild and who do we trust to put togethe?

I don't see any scenario in which we are able to keep hold of Branthwaite after this season, outside of him suffering a serious injury.

Not only is he brilliant defensively, but he plays football the way Pep and Arteta like their centre backs to play football.

I think he's an upgrade on Gabriel. Stick 21-y-o Jarrad next to 23-y-o Saliba and with Klopp leaving and Pep maybe getting bored, Arsenal could dominate for five years.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee2 wrote:It looks inevitable that we lose at leat 2 of our best players. I just hope one of them isn't Branthwaite. Then there are the players whose contracts come to an end like the Duke and Gomes. The tam will need a major rebuild and who do we trust to put togethe?

I don't see any scenario in which we are able to keep hold of Branthwaite after this season, outside of him suffering a serious injury.

Not only is he brilliant defensively, but he plays football the way Pep and Arteta like their centre backs to play football.

I think he's an upgrade on Gabriel. Stick 21-y-o Jarrad next to 23-y-o Saliba and with Klopp leaving and Pep maybe getting bored, Arsenal could dominate for five years.

I see reports of £50M being tossed around for Branthwaite. Makes no sense, should be around double that.