Frank Lampard - he's not a waiter !

I've couriered one of these to Moshi

My pen arrived




Frank Lampard has finalised a two-and-a-half-year deal to become Everton's new manager and is now putting his backroom staff in place and working on new signings.

He completed the formalities of his contract on Sunday.

The 43-year-old replaces Rafael Benitez, who left the club earlier this month after one win in 13 games.

Lampard was offered the job after Everton's hierarchy conducted a final round of interviews on Friday.

The interviews included Lampard, Portuguese coach Vitor Pereira and current caretaker manager Duncan Ferguson.

An official announcement on Lampard is expected from Everton on Monday.

Lampard is close to securing his first signing after Everton agreed a deal to sign Manchester United midfielder Donny van de Beek on loan until the end of the season and more activity may follow before the transfer window closes on Monday.

He is also piecing together his coaching team, with former Derby County and Swansea City manager Paul Clement - who worked with former Everton manager Carlo Ancelotti at Chelsea, Paris St-Germain, Real Madrid and Bayern Munich - in contention to move to Goodison Park along with Chelsea coach Joe Edwards.

Lampard, who has been out of the game since being sacked as Chelsea manager a year ago, will take charge of his first game in the FA Cup fourth-round tie at home to Brentford on Saturday before a crucial Premier League relegation match away to Newcastle United a week on Tuesday.


https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60192650

Is he available as a player? Certainly cant be worse than Iwobi?

Still waiting for the confirmation on the OS.

It's official now..

Everton Football Club can confirm the appointment of Frank Lampard as the Club’s new manager.

The former England midfielder has agreed a two-and-a-half-year contract - until June 2024 - and will take charge of the First Team for the FA Cup fourth-round tie against Brentford at Goodison Park on Saturday 5 February.

The appointment of Lampard comes after a robust recruitment process with several candidates being interviewed by the Club’s majority shareholder and Board of Directors.

Lampard started management with Derby County in 2018, leading the Rams to the final of that season’s Championship play-offs. He was appointed head coach at former club Chelsea the following year and, helping develop many of the club’s young talents, guided the Londoners to fourth place in the Premier League and the FA Cup final in his first season in charge.

The new Everton manager will be supported by a vastly experienced and talented backroom team made up of Joe Edwards as his Assistant Manager, Paul Clement as First Team Coach and Chris Jones as First Team Coach and Head of Performance.

https://www.evertonfc.com/news/2467281/lampard-appointed-everton-manager

Boss. 🤩 pic.twitter.com/hiXUZ7fGRi

— Everton (@Everton) January 31, 2022

Anyone starting to get a little worried about Frank? I have to say I was quite surprised by the seemingly universal adualtion heaped upon a manager who has hardly managed anyone. I guess not being rafa benitez was quite a draw. I don't watch a huge amout of footy these days but from what I saw at Chelsea he seemed to have a team that scored a decent amount of goals - with better forwards, and shipped a fair amount of goals - with better defenders and in no time Thomas Tuchel turned them into a ruthless winning machine. What makes me worry is this, I've never seen/heard him say we need to be tactically better or put his hands up and say he got a selection or a formation wrong. It's all, "the players need to do better on the pitch, mistakes cost us, we need to get on the training pitch and train hard." And then today "I came into a club on a downward trjectory". Sounds like excuses to me. The tactics against spurs played into their greatest strength and we got hammered. The players need to do better but so does he. By all accounts Jody Morris who was with him at Derby and Chelsea did most of the tactical stuff and he's not brought him to Everton. This isn't really the time or place to be cutting your teeth. Or at least it isn't for us.

Tonteau wrote:Anyone starting to get a little worried about Frank? I have to say I was quite surprised by the seemingly universal adualtion heaped upon a manager who has hardly managed anyone. I guess not being rafa benitez was quite a draw. I don't watch a huge amout of footy these days but from what I saw at Chelsea he seemed to have a team that scored a decent amount of goals - with better forwards, and shipped a fair amount of goals - with better defenders and in no time Thomas Tuchel turned them into a ruthless winning machine. What makes me worry is this, I've never seen/heard him say we need to be tactically better or put his hands up and say he got a selection or a formation wrong. It's all, "the players need to do better on the pitch, mistakes cost us, we need to get on the training pitch and train hard." And then today "I came into a club on a downward trjectory". Sounds like excuses to me. The tactics against spurs played into their greatest strength and we got hammered. The players need to do better but so does he. By all accounts Jody Morris who was with him at Derby and Chelsea did most of the tactical stuff and he's not brought him to Everton. This isn't really the time or place to be cutting your teeth. Or at least it isn't for us.

. Sadly lampard has turned into one of those people who blames everyone else. Every interview is the same - talking about how terrible it was when he got here. He should be talking about what he can do to improve it, not just blaming the - admittedly shit - squad he inherited

I'd like to see Arteta given the job in the not-too-distant future, not necessarily because I think he'd be great, but because I'd be genuinely fascinated to find out how his immaculate hairline deals with it. We did for Bobby martinez, Frank has lost about 30% since he got here, I reckon.

Tonteau wrote:I'd like to see Arteta given the job in the not-too-distant future, not necessarily because I think he'd be great, but because I'd be genuinely fascinated to find out how his immaculate hairline deals with it. We did for Bobby martinez, Frank has lost about 30% since he got here, I reckon.

Whereas Koeman seemed to pile on the pounds during his time with us. Comfort eating no doubt. Consolation visits to Greggs every time we lost.

Maybe give the gig to Carlos Valderrama for a season? That would prove or disprove your theory without a shred of doubt. Jon Bon Jovi?

For Lampard and his moaning about how bad things are, I have this great MLK quote. Now get on with it Frankie boy.

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

He broke his hand celebrating last night so he’s gone up in my estimation slightly.

Tonteau wrote:He broke his hand celebrating last night so he’s gone up in my estimation slightly.

He's set a high bar now though Tonts. Has to be a broken leg at least, maybe a collarbone as well, if he's going to impress us with his celebration when we beat the Shite.***




*** On balance, and taking everything into consideration, I think his leg and collarbone will be OK.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Tonteau wrote:He broke his hand celebrating last night so he’s gone up in my estimation slightly.

He's set a high bar now though Tonts. Has to be a broken leg at least, maybe a collarbone as well, if he's going to impress us with his celebration when we beat the Shite.***




*** On balance, and taking everything into consideration, I think his leg and collarbone will be OK.

I’m going to have to send him that Dave Hickson quote, aren’t I.

Tonteau wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Tonteau wrote:He broke his hand celebrating last night so he’s gone up in my estimation slightly.

He's set a high bar now though Tonts. Has to be a broken leg at least, maybe a collarbone as well, if he's going to impress us with his celebration when we beat the Shite.***




*** On balance, and taking everything into consideration, I think his leg and collarbone will be OK.

I’m going to have to send him that Dave Hickson quote, aren’t I.

Funnily enough I was thinking about something yesterday that this has reminded me of, and I thought about it again last night about 10 minutes before we scored. I was thinking about Big Dunc, the Dave Hickson of his day, in the dark days of the 90's when we had a similar level of despondency and dread to what we have now.

Dunc was overrated in some aspects, underrated in others. But he was always there (when he wasn't injured at least) and always gave us hope. I recall his famous header to beat Man U. Our chances of getting anything out of that game were laughably small, we were awful and Sir Alex's machine was fully up-and-running by that time. But if we could keep it tight at the back with everyone putting a shift in, we were always one decent Hinchcliffe corner and one Dunc header away from nicking a game that we really should have had no chance in.

I'm not saying DCL is the same kind of player or personality as those two, but with him having been injured and still struggling for fitness, even that faint hope from those days has been missing, and that's something we're desperate for now. We need DCL to be the Hickson, the Dunc, and give us that hope that if we can hang on in a game, we could get a goal out of nowhere. Lampard was saying last night that the international break will give DCL time to work on his fitness and sharpness and I really hope he does. If he can hit some kind of Kevin Campbell 1999 streak of form then we might just have a chance.

Gordon looks the most 'committed' everton player at the moment, nothing like dunc or dom, but the passion he has is beautiful. Forget his obvious skills and quality on the ball for a second and just appreciate that he shows up and gives his all every single game, never hides. He's put many of our first team to shame this season.

On the subject of Dave Hickson, while I'm obviously far to young to have seen him play, after we lost 3-2 to PAUL INCE'S Blackburn on the opening day of the season many moons back, I was having a few consolation Guinness(es?)(i?) with BrummieNoMates, Dixieland, ElPablo and possibly Griff in the Winslow and Dave Hickson himself showed up. He chatted to us, apologised for the loss and stopped to have his photo taken with us all. It absolutely made our day, probably more than a win would have (we knew under Moyes we'd not be in a relegation scrap) but more than anything he embodied someone who just was Everton. We had those players under Moyes - Cahill, Jags, Baines etc. players who just get the club. We really need some of that now.

Tonteau wrote:Gordon looks the most 'committed' everton player at the moment, nothing like dunc or dom, but the passion he has is beautiful. Forget his obvious skills and quality on the ball for a second and just appreciate that he shows up and gives his all every single game, never hides. He's put many of our first team to shame this season.

On the subject of Dave Hickson, while I'm obviously far to young to have seen him play, after we lost 3-2 to PAUL INCE'S Blackburn on the opening day of the season many moons back, I was having a few consolation Guinness(es?)(i?) with BrummieNoMates, Dixieland, ElPablo and possibly Griff in the Winslow and Dave Hickson himself showed up. He chatted to us, apologised for the loss and stopped to have his photo taken with us all. It absolutely made our day, probably more than a win would have (we knew under Moyes we'd not be in a relegation scrap) but more than anything he embodied someone who just was Everton. We had those players under Moyes - Cahill, Jags, Baines etc. players who just get the club. We really need some of that now.

Yeah I agree. That wouldn't have been an act, that was just him, and how he was.

He was my dad's Everton hero. Along with Ball, Alex Young and Labone, but especially Hickson, he would go on about him a lot, and I think I can understand why. My old man was born in 1930, so he was in his early 20's when we spent our four years in Div 2. In one of those seasons we finished 15th or 16th in Div 2, easily our worst league finish ever. Hickson was our centre forward during that time. (and this is my great fear by the way - not so much relegation, but that we won't bounce straight back and instead will languish down there for years and years like Sunderland, Sheff Wed etc.)

So for all we've had to endure, my dad had to deal with that four year spell in the lower leagues when he was going to Goodison every home game, in his 20's when it all matters so much. I can imagine that Hickson running through brick walls for the club while we were in such shite would have been the only hope they had back then. Hence my Big Dunc comparison - he was that 90's equivalent. With him in the team, especially when he was right up for it against the Shite and Man U, we had a bit of hope.

And yeah, Gordon embodies that attitude, different position and style, but hopefully that will rub off on the rest and, with a little bit of confidence, we may scrape ourselves out of this mess.

Everton boss Frank Lampard said he broke his hand celebrating his side's stoppage-time victory over Newcastle - but admitted he would suffer one every week if it meant similar results.

Alex Iwobi's winner came in the 99th minute after team-mate Allan was sent off on 83 minutes in a game delayed by a second-half protest.

"I did it in celebration for the goal," Lampard said as his side moved three points clear of the relegation zone.

"I just connected with something"

He added: "I didn't punch anything, but I realised two minutes later my hand was shaking and aching. I will take it for the three points."

hairy cataract wrote:
. Sadly lampard has turned into one of those people who blames everyone else. Every interview is the same - talking about how terrible it was when he got here.  He should be talking about what he can do to improve it, not just blaming the - admittedly shit - squad he inherited

OK so I've just caught up with Lampard's interviews after the Palace game, and I'm now convinced that he's out of his depth and probably doesn't want to be here. He's taking us down without a shadow of doubt. I reckon it took him about a month to realise that this is suddenly starting to look like hard work, and he doesn't have the managerial tools to deal with it. Ironically, given his post-Palace comments, I'm not sure he has the bollocks for it either.

Let's remember that, fine footballer though he was, he had it easy throughout his playing career. He started out at West Ham while Uncle Harry was manager and his dad was assistant. As soon as Dad and Uncle Harry got sacked, he buggered off to Chelsea, who at that time were already being bankrolled by Matthew Harding and on the up. Two years later Abramovich arrived and the rest is history. Don't get me wrong, Lampard was a big reason for all that success but, let's be honest, if they didn't have him, they'd have just bought someone else, wouldn't they? There is nothing in his CV that really equips him for a relegation battle.

I'm also reminded of a tale I heard about Glenn Hoddle's managerial days, either when he was at Swindon or at Chelsea, can't remember for certain. Turned out that old Glenn was a bit of a cock as a manager - apparently he liked to remind people how good a player he was (and he was, admittedly, very good) and would show off at training, and get frustrated with/take the piss out of players who couldn't do what he was able to do as a player.

That Hoddle yarn might be true, might be bollocks, but I'm wondering now whether that's where we are with Lampard. After the Palace game he seemed to be genuinely irritated that the players didn't just switch their mindset from "lacking in confidence" to "being confident" - like it's a choice. Again, throughout his Chelsea playing career, would he ever have experienced a squad that was genuinely low on confidence? Chelsea sack their managers if they fail to win for three games. The rut we're in now is months in the making.

He's saying he doesn't "have a magic wand to get into people's heads." But isn't that his fucking job, that he's being paid handsomely for? Does he think this is a computer game? Management is all about getting into people's heads, and not just in football. You can't just tell people to be confident. You build their confidence, in part, through how you treat them, how you speak to them and educate them. You have to bulld them up, not just sit at a desk after every game and say "well it wasn't the tactics, it was the players, I don't know what more I can do."

Everton has been in trouble before, several times in my lifetime alone, but I don't think we've never looked as multi-dimensionally fucked as we are now. Have we ever been in this position where ownership, manager and squad were all as hopelessly incompetent as they appear to be today? Even in the Walter Smith era, with a hopeless Kopite as owner and a pretty ropey squad of players, we at least had a competent, pragmatic manager who kept our heads about water. We are so comprehensively screwed it's almost laughable.

That Hoddle story is exactly what I've been remembering. There's a lot of 'the players just need to do better'. Well, you're the manager, Francis. How about you make that happen? Not that easy is it? Just like it isn't that easy to suddenly aquire 'the bollocks' to win an FA cup quarter-final against a well-coached team of fast, skillful bastards.

he is a worry.

I deliberately never waved the yeah we've got Lampard flag ... I did of course wave the yippee we've got rid of FSW flag & i make no apology for that.

I was on the fence with Frank but he is looking very dodgy....

We should have broken the bank & paid silly stupid if needed to get Moyes back... a few will booo loudly at this, but he would have sorted it & slowly, boringly, very slowly steadied the ship ... IMHO


however we are stuck with Frank now & he won't be changed so how does he keep us up... surely telling the players they are shit and/or not trying is not the most productive way...??

btw... I note Dunc has been very peripheral since Frank arrived... maybe empowering Dunc to slap a few around would work

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:he is a worry.

I deliberately never waved the yeah we've got Lampard flag ... I did of course wave the yippee we've got rid of FSW flag & i make no apology for that.

I was on the fence with Frank but he is looking very dodgy....

We should have broken the bank & paid silly stupid if needed to get Moyes back... a few will booo loudly at this, but he would have sorted it & slowly, boringly, very slowly steadied the ship ... IMHO


however we are stuck with Frank now & he won't be changed so how does he keep us up... surely telling the players they are shit and/or not trying is not the most productive way...??

btw... I note Dunc has been very peripheral since Frank arrived... maybe empowering Dunc to slap a few around would work

I've played a lot of footy in my time. Even at my slightly-above-pub-team level, I had periods where I was on the floor confidence-wise, and others where I was flying and playing so well that I'd try some outrageous things, like 50-yard cross-field passes or lobbing the keeper from the halfway line, and not give a toss if it didn't work. When your confidence is low, you are shitting yourself every time you're in possession. A simple five-yard pass becomes traumatic.

I also manage people as part of my job. Have just rolled our system out in the US, and I had to (remotely) train a new team of 6 over there. Real mixed ability group - a couple of superstars, a couple who were/are a bit out of their depth, and a couple who had potential but zero experience. The latter two, it took me literally months to build their confidence up to a point where they stopped shitting themselves and checking everything over with me before they hit "save." They're both fine now, but it was a long-term investment of my time. You simply can't tell people to be confident and expect them to go "OK, will do."

It ain't easy, it takes time, and the only thing I would say in fairness to Lampard is that he hasn't got much time to play with. But he surely knew the deal when he arrived, and had to make the most of every day he had available, and from what I can tell he hasn't even started to grasp what he has to do yet. He's grasped the enormity of the task, but not what he has to do to fix it. It's a major problem and nothing that comes out of his mouth in interviews reassures me in any way. He's already doing that thing managers usually do when they know their card is marked - he's not really talking to the interviewer or the watching public, but to prospective future employers.

Also - key point in relation to Dunc steaming in there - confidence and effort are two different things, although they overlap. The Dunc approach might help with effort, but bawling them out will do nothing for confidence. Where they overlap is that, on the positive side, enhanced effort can breed confidence (I'm doing my bit here, the fans applauded me for that track back, etc.) But on the negative side, a player lacking in confidence and shitting himself when in possession won't necessarily make the effort to get into position to receive possession. Effort is easy when we don't have the ball but it's a different matter when we do have it.

I once watched Tom Davies (while in a bad run of form) spend an entire half pretending that he was moving into space to receive the ball, but in reality he was ensuring that there was always an oppo player in the way so that he couldn't receive the pass. I spot these things because it's quite common to see that in youth football - the kid who wants to be part of the team but massively lacks confidence and doesn't want to screw up and have to face his mates talking about it at school the following Monday. At a professional level, I'm afraid that comes down to the bravery and character of the player in question, and we don't have much character in our squad.

Fucked with a capital F.

Having said all this, Lampard may be well out of his depth as a manager and we may well ship a tonne of goals and go down. But at some point, and I'm not saying that point is now, we need to get in a manager and just stick with them for at least two or three years (furtive glance at the forest manager). Everton twitter really is full on the most reactionary, histrionic types who lose the plot as soon as we lose a few games. Club needs to communicate with the fans and say this is our manager, this is our plan, and we're going to stick to it. Stop getting all pissy and get on board.

Tonteau wrote:Having said all this, Lampard may be well out of his depth as a manager and we may well ship a tonne of goals and go down. But at some point, and I'm not saying that point is now, we need to get in a manager and just stick with them for at least two or three years (furtive glance at the forest manager). Everton twitter really is full on the most reactionary, histrionic types who lose the plot as soon as we lose a few games. Club needs to communicate with the fans and say this is our manager, this is our plan, and we're going to stick to it. Stop getting all pissy and get on board.

Absolutely, but which of our last six managers would you have given more time?

I tend to agree with Rotts, above, that Lampard is out of his depth in this situation and is panicking. I would imagine he's not sleeping too well at the moment, and is in constant meetings with the rest of the coaching staff trying to think of things they haven't tried yet. The players are hiding on the pitch because they really don't want to be the one to miss a chance, or give it away, or look useless. Which is why I was so shocked at Iwobi's goal against Newcastle. It was the opposite of everything we've been doing this season - the tackle from Coleman was brave and decisive, Iwobi's initial run was positive, the lay off from DCL tricky, and the fact that Iwobi had kept running to offer himself for the pass was unusual. But above all, the finish was cool as a fucking cucumber. And even Iwobi's celebration was surprising - Gordon did what every fan did, leapt up in the air like Superman and went fucking nuts. Iwobi did some kind of half-arsed pre-planned hand gesture celebration which you'd expect from a RS after they'd scored their fifth goal against Watford or something.

So, I think we build the team around Iwobi for the rest of the season. Make him player-manager. Make him captain. Put him in the number 10 role playing just off DCL. Let him shag Frank Lampard's missus. His time has come. Here's my set-up

Everton
Owner: The UK Government
Manager: Iwobi
Assistant Manager: Ferguson
Tea Lady: Lampard

Begovic
Patterson, Mina on a crutch, Godfrey, Baines
Gordon, Allan, some 12 year old from the U23s, Richarlison
Iwobi
DCL

hairy cataract wrote:

Tonteau wrote:Having said all this, Lampard may be well out of his depth as a manager and we may well ship a tonne of goals and go down. But at some point, and I'm not saying that point is now, we need to get in a manager and just stick with them for at least two or three years (furtive glance at the forest manager). Everton twitter really is full on the most reactionary, histrionic types who lose the plot as soon as we lose a few games. Club needs to communicate with the fans and say this is our manager, this is our plan, and we're going to stick to it. Stop getting all pissy and get on board.

Absolutely, but which of our last six managers would you have given more time?  

I tend to agree with Rotts, above, that Lampard is out of his depth in this situation and is panicking.  I would imagine he's not sleeping too well at the moment, and is in constant meetings with the rest of the coaching staff trying to think of things they haven't tried yet.  The players are hiding on the pitch because they really don't want to be the one to miss a chance, or give it away, or look useless.  Which is why I was so shocked at Iwobi's goal against Newcastle.  It was the opposite of everything we've been doing this season - the tackle from Coleman was brave and decisive, Iwobi's initial run was positive, the lay off from DCL tricky, and the fact that Iwobi had kept running to offer himself for the pass was unusual.  But above all, the finish was cool as a fucking cucumber.  And even Iwobi's celebration was surprising - Gordon did what every fan did, leapt up in the air like Superman and went fucking nuts. Iwobi did some kind of half-arsed pre-planned hand gesture celebration which you'd expect from a RS after they'd scored their fifth goal against Watford or something.

So, I think we build the team around Iwobi for the rest of the season.  Make him player-manager.  Make him captain.  Put him in the number 10 role playing just off DCL.  Let him shag Frank Lampard's missus.  His time has come.  Here's my set-up

Everton
Owner: The UK Government
Manager: Iwobi
Assistant Manager: Ferguson
Tea Lady: Lampard

Begovic
Patterson, Mina on a crutch, Godfrey, Baines
Gordon, Allan, some 12 year old from the U23s, Richarlison
Iwobi
DCL

Martinez, probably. Does he count? I can't remmember how far back he was. He 'got' the club, bought into it and I think that's important because you do really have to buy into everton to deal with the shite you have to put up with.