Everton 0 Spurs 0

So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof

nice to see a LEGAL thread,  
will be a real test for us, but, we are EVERTON

3-2 for us

I'm at this one - bringing a load of Swedes with me - all lads I'm afraid, might see you at the game?

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof

Cough!

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Throw the book at him Uwie. He has shown complete disregard for the law and your authority.

This may seem excessive but, if Everton lose to Spurs then I think we should hang him.  

Dixie Land wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Throw the book at him Uwie. He has shown complete disregard for the law and your authority.

This may seem excessive but, if Everton lose to Spurs then I think we should hang him.  

Sounds rather kind considering the circumstances.

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Throw the book at him Uwie. He has shown complete disregard for the law and your authority.

This may seem excessive but, if Everton lose to Spurs then I think we should hang him.  

Sounds rather kind considering the circumstances.

what's the problem boys? .. I'm certain there is a rule somewhere allowing me to legitimately start this thread  

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Throw the book at him Uwie. He has shown complete disregard for the law and your authority.

This may seem excessive but, if Everton lose to Spurs then I think we should hang him.  

Sounds rather kind considering the circumstances.

what's the problem boys? .. I'm certain there is a rule somewhere allowing me to legitimately start this thread  

Sorry for the delay but I have completed the research and I have to say I have come across no such precedent or statement in statute that could succour or encouragement for the egregious step you have stumbled upon.


The board entrusted you with the sacred duty of care that competitions would run in a smell free zone remember the great CUNTSMELS debacle - I have therefore no choice but to pass the full sanction onto yourself.


Take the 10 point penalty and return thread to owner no later than close of play tomorrow. I also add the sanction that Dixieland and Blueberto will decide at which fixture your legitimate attempt will start.

There can be no appeal. Failure to transfer will place 5 points deduction on top of the already addressed sanction

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Throw the book at him Uwie. He has shown complete disregard for the law and your authority.

This may seem excessive but, if Everton lose to Spurs then I think we should hang him.  

Sounds rather kind considering the circumstances.

what's the problem boys? .. I'm certain there is a rule somewhere allowing me to legitimately start this thread  

Sorry for the delay but I have completed the research and I have to say I have come across no such precedent or statement in statute that could succour or encouragement for the egregious step you have stumbled upon.


The board entrusted you with the sacred duty of care that competitions would run in a smell free zone remember the great CUNTSMELS debacle - I have therefore no choice but to pass the full sanction onto yourself.


Take the 10 point penalty and return thread to owner no later than close of play tomorrow. I also add the sanction that Dixieland and Blueberto will decide at which fixture your legitimate attempt will start.

There can be no appeal. Failure to transfer will place 5 points deduction on top of the already addressed sanction  

Dear oh dear oh dear .. the law is totally mad & gone astray from the rules.

Being a good honest citizen (most of the time   ) I will of course abide by the flagrantly incorrect ruling & apply the -10 to my account .. after all it would be remiss of me to win my own competition anyway, so I wouldn't really give a toss if the false & blatantly incorrect penalty had been -100  

I would remind the audience of the ACTUAL RULES (in italics below)...
1... Same rule of -5 points for match thread theft & a visit from legal counsel. (however .. given the blatant mis-understanding of the law, the latter part of this rule may be revised after this season)


Additional rules after Gazbow the filthy thief stole from the current champion
1 ... In the event of thread theft the person who the thread was stolen from can re-take it without penalty in the next game only if he gets in fast enough, otherwise the thief may continue without further penalty. Whoever is first gets the honour out of the stolen from or the thief.


The second rule above shows that there is no mention of returning a thread ... so yet again I'm afraid legals have mis-interpreted & falsely applied the law .. I await instruction of how the fuck I am supposed to do this by the way  

Shocking & totally unexpected incompetence really..   

Oh by the way ... as the afore-mentioned legal council has represented me on many occasions (when sane or not pissed), to enforce match thread actions on my behalf as honorable owner ... and of course in the more high profile BellwipeTM trademark case that I correctly won & subsequently had an entry published in the Urban Dictionary ( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bellwipe ) ... I do have to question if there is a serious conflict of interests here.. now that the scandalous rogue has turned from enforcer to abuser *allegedly* ..

I rest my case & await the obvious withdrawal of the poorly judged penalty

Note - This is not an appeal

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:

Dixie Land wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Uwist61 wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:So .. the mighty toffees move to a Sunday lunchtime game to thrash the big spending Bale less Spuds.

Martin Chivers nose will block out any sunlight & Ardiles & Villa will be recalled to talk some fucking sense into AVB.

Lukaku will take a dump in the Spurs goal after his hat-trick & Nais will chin Jermain Dwarf, just cause he's taller than him

The whole team will wear tee shirts before kick off with 'LAW AND ORDER ... Fuck you Dixie' printed on them

2-0 to the toffees ... Mo Johnson & Fannie Jeffers


  COYB  

oooh it's soft & cuddly & Dixie's a poof .. allegedly..

Cough!

sorry boss .. fixed it

Leaving the commentary aside ... Which just leaves the erm..... Well the thread theft issue  

Throw the book at him Uwie. He has shown complete disregard for the law and your authority.

This may seem excessive but, if Everton lose to Spurs then I think we should hang him.  

Sounds rather kind considering the circumstances.

what's the problem boys? .. I'm certain there is a rule somewhere allowing me to legitimately start this thread  

Sorry for the delay but I have completed the research and I have to say I have come across no such precedent or statement in statute that could succour or encouragement for the egregious step you have stumbled upon.


The board entrusted you with the sacred duty of care that competitions would run in a smell free zone remember the great CUNTSMELS debacle - I have therefore no choice but to pass the full sanction onto yourself.


Take the 10 point penalty and return thread to owner no later than close of play tomorrow. I also add the sanction that Dixieland and Blueberto will decide at which fixture your legitimate attempt will start.

There can be no appeal. Failure to transfer will place 5 points deduction on top of the already addressed sanction  

Dear oh dear oh dear .. the law is totally mad & gone astray from the rules.

Being a good honest citizen (most of the time   ) I will of course abide by the flagrantly incorrect ruling & apply the -10 to my account .. after all it would be remiss of me to win my own competition anyway, so I wouldn't really give a toss if the false & blatantly incorrect penalty had been -100  

I would remind the audience of the ACTUAL RULES (in italics below)...
1... Same rule of -5 points for match thread theft & a visit from legal counsel. (however .. given the blatant mis-understanding of the law, the latter part of this rule may be revised after this season)


Additional rules after Gazbow the filthy thief stole from the current champion
1 ... In the event of thread theft the person who the thread was stolen from can re-take it without penalty in the next game only if he gets in fast enough, otherwise the thief may continue without further penalty. Whoever is first gets the honour out of the stolen from or the thief.


The second rule above shows that there is no mention of returning a thread ... so yet again I'm afraid legals have mis-interpreted & falsely applied the law .. I await instruction of how the fuck I am supposed to do this by the way  

Shocking & totally unexpected incompetence really..   

Oh by the way ... as the afore-mentioned legal council has represented me on many occasions (when sane or not pissed), to enforce match thread actions on my behalf as honorable owner ... and of course in the more high profile BellwipeTM trademark case that I correctly won & subsequently had an entry published in the Urban Dictionary ( http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=bellwipe ) ... I do have to question if there is a serious conflict of interests here.. now that the scandalous rogue has turned from enforcer to abuser *allegedly* ..

I rest my case & await the obvious withdrawal of the poorly judged penalty

Note - This is not an appeal

In effect a brilliant appeal....there was a thread theft that you do not deny and that is to your credit. The additional sanction was applied because as the organiser of the whole shabbang you are a true role model ... junior posters look up to you.... and as such we (the board membership) should be entitled to see you display nothing more than exemplary conduct.

Now as Mr D. Land found in his recent troubles no man is above the law -- however no man should be truly beneath the law either, and in applying the additional sanction of match thread return and the potential penal sanction for non-return and future handicapping it is clear that the judge has had a bad day at the office (I had actually - Swiss clients proving by the hour that its a wonder the trains actually do run on time and that its a miracle that they have not made themselves extinct through a process of inherited buffoonery) and unreasonably took it upon himself to take it out on the convicted.

Also in your favour was the call from the Zimbabwean High Commission who stated that even they can recognise a stitch up when they see one!

So thread theft is applied that is 5pts deduction - Dixieland has until 0800 (GMT) to reclaim the thread without penalty.

Case closed

So, a football discussion it is then....

Rapid Robby seems to have his first choice XI sorted after last wekend, and it's probably what we'd all have chosen.
Dizzie and Jags are photocopied on the team sheet, with Macca and Barry now the engine room.
Peanut and Baines on the left and KM and Seamus raiding the right.
Big Luke and RB up front, Timmy T at the back.
Just scan that team sheet each week...........

I reckon this could be a difficult game for us, but Spurs haven't looked the same team since losing Bale. I think it could well end 1-1, which I would be pretty happy about. I think that Jags and Distin should be able to handle most things Spurs throw at us and I can see Lukaku, Mirallas and Pienaar causing them plenty of problems.


I have learned a lot from my past issues with the law and have now stopped my potty-mouth business of old.

Who the holy, heck are the buddy-funsters Spurs anyhow?

This thread is rubbish

booooooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

we'll lose now & it's Dixie's fault  

8-0 to Spuds

No doubt that they will get a penalty too!!!!!

What's with all the negativity? 2-1 the mighty blues. 

Bad news folks......

John Heitinga and Arouna Kone are unlikely to be fit for Everton's game against Spurs on Sunday. Heitinga is set to resume full training this week while Kone is still suffering from a knee injury he suffered against Hull City. But this weekend's clash with Andre Villas-Boas' men is likely to come too soon for the pair.

Roberto Martinez told EvertonTV "Johnny Heitinga is recovering really, really well. He has progressed as we expected over the weekend but is possibility ahead of the time we set for him. He is going to train today (Tuesday) individually and then hopefully he will join the group at the end of the week, so we will see how quickly he can join the match day squad."

"Arouna Kone had a really nasty incident against Hull City late in the game and that has swollen his knee. So we are going to assess him over the next two or three days and see the extent of the problem."

"I think the Spurs game may be too early for both of them it is still early in the week."

Armchair Evertonian wrote:

Super wrote:Bad news folks......

John Heitinga and Arouna Kone are unlikely to be fit for Everton's game against Spurs on Sunday.  Heitinga is set to resume full training this week while Kone is still suffering from a knee injury he suffered against Hull City.  But this weekend's clash with Andre Villas-Boas' men is likely to come too soon for the pair.

Roberto Martinez told EvertonTV "Johnny Heitinga is recovering really, really well.  He has progressed as we expected over the weekend but is possibility ahead of the time we set for him.  He is going to train today (Tuesday) individually and then hopefully he will join the group at the end of the week, so we will see how quickly he can join the match day squad."

"Arouna Kone had a really nasty incident against Hull City late in the game and that has swollen his knee.  So we are going to assess him over the next two or three days and see the extent of the problem."

"I think the Spurs game may be too early for both of them it is still early in the week."

How will we cope without them?  

I'm sure we'll be ok as long as Alcaraz is fit  

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Armchair Evertonian wrote:

Super wrote:Bad news folks......

John Heitinga and Arouna Kone are unlikely to be fit for Everton's game against Spurs on Sunday.  Heitinga is set to resume full training this week while Kone is still suffering from a knee injury he suffered against Hull City.  But this weekend's clash with Andre Villas-Boas' men is likely to come too soon for the pair.

Roberto Martinez told EvertonTV "Johnny Heitinga is recovering really, really well.  He has progressed as we expected over the weekend but is possibility ahead of the time we set for him.  He is going to train today (Tuesday) individually and then hopefully he will join the group at the end of the week, so we will see how quickly he can join the match day squad."

"Arouna Kone had a really nasty incident against Hull City late in the game and that has swollen his knee.  So we are going to assess him over the next two or three days and see the extent of the problem."

"I think the Spurs game may be too early for both of them it is still early in the week."

How will we cope without them?  

I'm sure we'll be ok as long as Alcaraz is fit  

Does this Alcatraz person island even exist?

Super wrote:Bad news folks......

John Heitinga and Arouna Kone are unlikely to be fit for Everton's game against Spurs on Sunday.  Heitinga is set to resume full training this week while Kone is still suffering from a knee injury he suffered against Hull City.  But this weekend's clash with Andre Villas-Boas' men is likely to come too soon for the pair.

Roberto Martinez told EvertonTV "Johnny Heitinga is recovering really, really well.  He has progressed as we expected over the weekend but is possibility ahead of the time we set for him.  He is going to train today (Tuesday) individually and then hopefully he will join the group at the end of the week, so we will see how quickly he can join the match day squad."

"Arouna Kone had a really nasty incident against Hull City late in the game and that has swollen his knee.  So we are going to assess him over the next two or three days and see the extent of the problem."

"I think the Spurs game may be too early for both of them it is still early in the week."

That's an interesting way to describe the miss.

Hull take Spurs to extra time and penos tonight. Hopefully we will have a fast start on Sunday, run the legs off them.

Could we have lost 2 more influential players?!

Their toothless, if we can score then we'll win, their win ratio stats this season are impressive but they've been sh!t and they lost at home to West Ham.

Lukaku with both, 2-0/2-1 blues

A win today will take us to 2nd place, that should be enough motivation , COYB,