Frank Lampard - he's not a waiter !

Has he gone yet? Useless cunt!!!

So we are in a horrendous run, barely look like ever scoring and leak goals galore. A small minority of dickheads are making it worse by attacking the players and we are in the bottom 3.
Even allowing that we wont attract anyone really decent, how can Lampard.continue?
When does it become untenable? When we lose to Wet Spam, when we lose to the Arse, or when the red cunts murder us, even though they are shit at the moment? Maybe he goes after the Shite game, as there is then a run of games where points are possible and a new manager could get some sort of bounceback??
Currently we WILL go down, there is nothing there, a new manager couldnt make it worse so must be worth a try??
Its now at the stage I miss more games than I go to, its so depressing, and will actively avoid the Arse game. We somehow need to find a spark of hope, but the cupboard looks bare. Deeply depressing times!!

get him out now ! .. tactically clueless

Looks like this is it for Lampard.  Get someone in quickly and he'll have two weeks to have a look at the team, then games against Arse and the Shite that we'll lose, then some games we need to win.

Second half so far has shown that we are fucking terrible, but when the players put some energy into it, there are a handful that are of PL quality.  Iwobi has looked better further forward and out wide and, for all the stick he gets, Davies tries really hard and injects a lot of running into the team.

We're almost certainly going down unless something massive changes though.  And even then, it's hard to see us staying up.

Yeah, time to roll the dice. The new manager might not do any better than Frank, but he can't do any worse.

So, who would be in the running if FL gets his P45?

From another site

Dom king saying he’s getting the boot tomorrow and dyche not in the running

I wonder who,

Blue gazza wrote:From another site

Dom king saying he’s getting the boot tomorrow and dyche not in the running

I wonder who,

Tuchel?

Sky Sports saying it's a done deal and will be announced soon.

I might be a tenner on Nuno as next manager. Big buy-out clause, but I'm guessing Thelwell will have a big influence on who comes in next.

hairy cataract wrote:Sky Sports saying it's a done deal and will be announced soon.

I might be a tenner on Nuno as next manager.  Big buy-out clause, but I'm guessing Thelwell will have a big influence on who comes in next.

I think so too and would be happy with that. In the same way that a death row inmate enjoying his last meal may nod his head with quiet satisfaction at how his steak has been cooked.

Have also seen Bielsa linked, but Bielsa is the high-risk/high-reward/could also be a disaster option.

Outside of Leeds I'm probably Bielsa's biggest fan. I think I've only just realised that I'm a fan of his as long as he's managing someone else. There is a craziness, a stubbornness, almost a naivety to Bielsa that I both love and am scared shitless by.

But what do we have to lose? At least he'd have a plan, and would get us organised, in his own mad way. And he's a coach, he'd improve players.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Sky Sports saying it's a done deal and will be announced soon.

I might be a tenner on Nuno as next manager.  Big buy-out clause, but I'm guessing Thelwell will have a big influence on who comes in next.

I think so too and would be happy with that. In the same way that a death row inmate enjoying his last meal may nod his head with quiet satisfaction at how his steak has been cooked.

Have also seen Bielsa linked, but Bielsa is the high-risk/high-reward/could also be a disaster option.

Outside of Leeds I'm probably Bielsa's biggest fan. I think I've only just realised that I'm a fan of his as long as he's managing someone else. There is a craziness, a stubbornness, almost a naivety to Bielsa that I both love and am scared shitless by.

But what do we have to lose? At least he'd have a plan, and would get us organised, in his own mad way. And he's a coach, he'd improve players.

 

The dream team would be Bielsa with Joey Barton as his assistant.  Bielsa pretends he can't speak English, Joey speaks English with a fake French accent (occasionally), so the pressers would be brilliant.  On match day, Bielsa would sit on his space-hopper making faces, while Joey stubs out cigars in the eyes of the board and kicks opposing managers very hard up the arse.  

Joey Barton is one of us - as in, he's a fucking nutter who howls in anguish whenever he loses - and he's doing very well at Bristol City.  We'll have to get him to promise to stop beating up his missus but, other that that, what could possibly go wrong?

hairy cataract wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Sky Sports saying it's a done deal and will be announced soon.

I might be a tenner on Nuno as next manager.  Big buy-out clause, but I'm guessing Thelwell will have a big influence on who comes in next.

I think so too and would be happy with that. In the same way that a death row inmate enjoying his last meal may nod his head with quiet satisfaction at how his steak has been cooked.

Have also seen Bielsa linked, but Bielsa is the high-risk/high-reward/could also be a disaster option.

Outside of Leeds I'm probably Bielsa's biggest fan. I think I've only just realised that I'm a fan of his as long as he's managing someone else. There is a craziness, a stubbornness, almost a naivety to Bielsa that I both love and am scared shitless by.

But what do we have to lose? At least he'd have a plan, and would get us organised, in his own mad way. And he's a coach, he'd improve players.

 

The dream team would be Bielsa with Joey Barton as his assistant.  Bielsa pretends he can't speak English, Joey speaks English with a fake French accent (occasionally), so the pressers would be brilliant.  On match day, Bielsa would sit on his space-hopper making faces, while Joey stubs out cigars in the eyes of the board and kicks opposing managers very hard up the arse.  

Joey Barton is one of us - as in, he's a fucking nutter who howls in anguish whenever he loses - and he's doing very well at Bristol City.  We'll have to get him to promise to stop beating up his missus but, other that that, what could possibly go wrong?

"Good moaning."

I don't think it will be... but I hope it's Moyes

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:I don't think it will be... but I hope it's Moyes

It would be worth appointing him just to see Toffeeweb explode

hairy cataract wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Sky Sports saying it's a done deal and will be announced soon.

I might be a tenner on Nuno as next manager.  Big buy-out clause, but I'm guessing Thelwell will have a big influence on who comes in next.

I think so too and would be happy with that. In the same way that a death row inmate enjoying his last meal may nod his head with quiet satisfaction at how his steak has been cooked.

Have also seen Bielsa linked, but Bielsa is the high-risk/high-reward/could also be a disaster option.

Outside of Leeds I'm probably Bielsa's biggest fan. I think I've only just realised that I'm a fan of his as long as he's managing someone else. There is a craziness, a stubbornness, almost a naivety to Bielsa that I both love and am scared shitless by.

But what do we have to lose? At least he'd have a plan, and would get us organised, in his own mad way. And he's a coach, he'd improve players.

 

The dream team would be Bielsa with Joey Barton as his assistant.  Bielsa pretends he can't speak English, Joey speaks English with a fake French accent (occasionally), so the pressers would be brilliant.  On match day, Bielsa would sit on his space-hopper making faces, while Joey stubs out cigars in the eyes of the board and kicks opposing managers very hard up the arse.  

Joey Barton is one of us - as in, he's a fucking nutter who howls in anguish whenever he loses - and he's doing very well at Bristol City.  We'll have to get him to promise to stop beating up his missus but, other that that, what could possibly go wrong?

I think if we were to get Bleisa we should actually buy him a little stool. Leeds did him a disservice by making him sit on a cooler box game after game.

That could be the clincher, actually. Picture the scene.....

Thelwell is sat there eyeballing him across the table through a Clint Eastwood squint. Bielsa is looking around, holding his gaze on anything and everything other than Thelwell's laser beam stare. Frequently he just looks at the floor. Neither of them has spoken a word for over 10 minutes...

Then Thelwell casually slides the latest IKEA catalogue over to him. It's open on page 145 and what has been circled with a yellow highlighter? An adjustable-height "KNOBSMEG" stool in a choice of four colours. Bielsa notes the free delivery option with an apparent casual disdain but Thewell, wily operator that he is, picks up on the almost imperceptible widening of Marcelo's eyes.

Bill and Farhad, observing from the back of the room, glance at each other knowingly, yet nervously. This is the denouement of the negotiation and they know it. Even the disgruntled fan who currently has Denise Barrett-Baxendale in a headlock near the bog door pauses, and looks over.

Bielsa looks at the catalogue again and immediately looks away. "Fool's gold" he barks in heavily accented English, and spits contemptibly into the ether. Thelwell holds his nerve, simply raises an eyebrow slightly. Slowly, the grizzled Argie's eyes are drawn back to this image of heaven on three legs. He fights it but he knows he's been bought in.

A clock ticks, metronomically. Otherwise, silence.

Bielsa looks up at Thelwell, who by now is lighting a cigar and isn't even making eye contact. He sighs, glances at his interpreter, shakes his head and then simply says "Si." The interpreter asks Contract Nonce for a pen. Bill blubs. DBB punches the distracted disgruntled fan in the 'nads and makes good her escape.

Two years later we do the double and Bielsa insists that Princess Anne comes to him and puts his FA Cup medal around his neck while he's sat on his stool near the dugout, from where he hasn't moved since the final whistle went. In the post-match interview he mumbles some words in Spanish. His interpreter translates: "it is a beautiful thing, this medal. As is this stool."

Or we'll get Rooney and go down.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Sky Sports saying it's a done deal and will be announced soon.

I might be a tenner on Nuno as next manager.  Big buy-out clause, but I'm guessing Thelwell will have a big influence on who comes in next.

I think so too and would be happy with that. In the same way that a death row inmate enjoying his last meal may nod his head with quiet satisfaction at how his steak has been cooked.

Have also seen Bielsa linked, but Bielsa is the high-risk/high-reward/could also be a disaster option.

Outside of Leeds I'm probably Bielsa's biggest fan. I think I've only just realised that I'm a fan of his as long as he's managing someone else. There is a craziness, a stubbornness, almost a naivety to Bielsa that I both love and am scared shitless by.

But what do we have to lose? At least he'd have a plan, and would get us organised, in his own mad way. And he's a coach, he'd improve players.

 

The dream team would be Bielsa with Joey Barton as his assistant.  Bielsa pretends he can't speak English, Joey speaks English with a fake French accent (occasionally), so the pressers would be brilliant.  On match day, Bielsa would sit on his space-hopper making faces, while Joey stubs out cigars in the eyes of the board and kicks opposing managers very hard up the arse.  

Joey Barton is one of us - as in, he's a fucking nutter who howls in anguish whenever he loses - and he's doing very well at Bristol City.  We'll have to get him to promise to stop beating up his missus but, other that that, what could possibly go wrong?

I think if we were to get Bleisa we should actually buy him a little stool. Leeds did him a disservice by making him sit on a cooler box game after game.

That could be the clincher, actually. Picture the scene.....

Thelwell is sat there eyeballing him across the table through a Clint Eastwood squint. Bielsa is looking around, holding his gaze on anything and everything other than Thelwell's laser beam stare. Frequently he just looks at the floor. Neither of them has spoken a word for over 10 minutes...

Then Thelwell casually slides the latest IKEA catalogue over to him. It's open on page 145 and what has been circled with a yellow highlighter? An adjustable-height "KNOBSMEG" stool in a choice of four colours. Bielsa notes the free delivery option with an apparent casual disdain but Thewell, wily operator that he is, picks up on the almost imperceptible widening of Marcelo's eyes.

Bill and Farhad, observing from the back of the room, glance at each other knowingly, yet nervously. This is the denouement of the negotiation and they know it. Even the disgruntled fan who currently has Denise Barrett-Baxendale in a headlock near the bog door pauses, and looks over.

Bielsa looks at the catalogue again and immediately looks away. "Fool's gold" he barks in heavily accented English, and spits contemptibly into the ether. Thelwell holds his nerve, simply raises an eyebrow slightly. Slowly, the grizzled Argie's eyes are drawn back to this image of heaven on three legs. He fights it but he knows he's been bought in.

A clock ticks, metronomically. Otherwise, silence.

Bielsa looks up at Thelwell, who by now is lighting a cigar and isn't even making eye contact. He sighs, glances at his interpreter, shakes his head and then simply says "Si." The interpreter asks Contract Nonce for a pen. Bill blubs. DBB punches the distracted disgruntled fan in the 'nads and makes good her escape.

Two years later we do the double and Bielsa insists that Princess Anne comes to him and puts his FA Cup medal around his neck while he's sat on his stool near the dugout, from where he hasn't moved since the final whistle went. In the post-match interview he mumbles some words in Spanish. His interpreter translates: "it is a beautiful thing, this medal. As is this stool."

Or we'll get Rooney and go down.

brilliant Rotts...

..we'll get Rooney

Tuchel would be sensible, Bielsa would be fun. Neither seem very likely tbh. Our fans would idolise Bielsa, though.

Rotts - you made my morning with that drivel of a post.

sounds like it's getting even worse... if that was possible !

Abdoulaye Doucouré has been told to train on his own, as he and others were involved in a dressing room clash with Lampard following the loss to Southampton.

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:sounds like it's getting even worse... if that was possible !

Abdoulaye Doucouré has been told to train on his own, as he and others were involved in a dressing room clash with Lampard following the loss to Southampton.

The clash seemed an obvious reason for some of the stuff we've seen.
I'm surprised Duke hasn't had more play time.
At least someone had some passion.
New manager and attitude clearly needed.

Should be a statement any minute now, Lampard going and Baines/Tait in temporary charge.

ANthony Gordon could well be gone this week as we seek to raise some funds. I'm expecting it to take weeks to appoint a new boss though.

Sky announced it now

Everton have sacked manager Frank Lampard after less than a year in charge at Goodison Park.

Defeat at fellow strugglers West Ham United on Saturday was Everton's ninth loss in 12 Premier League games.

They are second from bottom of the table with 15 points from 20 matches, above Southampton on goal difference.

Former England midfielder Lampard, 44, replaced Rafael Benitez in January 2022 with the team 16th in the table and helped Everton avoid relegation.

Everton are now looking for their sixth permanent manager in five years.

After a 1-1 draw at reigning champions Manchester City on 31 December, Everton have lost 4-1 to Brighton at Goodison Park, were knocked out of the FA Cup with a 3-1 defeat at Manchester United and were then beaten by Southampton despite taking the lead, before the latest defeat by West Ham.

They have managed only three wins all season.

There have been widespread and vocal protests from fans against the board in recent games, and supporters staged a sit-in demonstration after the loss to Southampton.

Everton's board of directors missed that game because of what the club claimed was a "real and credible threat to their safety".

Merseyside Police said no threats or incidents had been reported to officers prior to the fixture before Everton announced "enhanced security procedures" would be put in place.

That was also in response to some supporters confronting defender Yerry Mina and midfielder Anthony Gordon as they left Goodison Park in their cars last weekend.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/63610629

now he's gone I'll merge this thread with the FL thread & move it to ex everton