Frank Lampard - he's not a waiter !

Is it worth having a single thread to discuss the relative merits of the various names that are currently being selected from a phonebook at random by Farhad?

Today we've been linked with Vitor Pereira. Vilas Boas's old assistant.

The usual thing for these Portuguese chaps. Has never been in a job longer than three years. CV - Portugual, Turkey, Greece, Middle East, China, blah blah. Won trophies with Porto, which is like saying "won trophies with Celtic." To a layman, it's an underwhelming CV. Apparently he likes playing three at the back. His associations with AVB worry me as he was the worst manager ever for overcomplicating a simple game. We had a taste of that with Rafa in recent weeks and it didn't go well.

On the plus side, we've been linked with him before, so he's obviously one of these "respected even though he ain't done much" types. And I believe he already owns a tracksuit, so that's good.

If anyone has any deeper insight into Pereira's philosophy and playing style at Al-Ahli and Shanghai SIPC, please do share.

https://www.msn.com/en-gb/sport/football/serial-winner-vitor-pereira-is-now-a-major-contender-for-everton-job/ar-AAT3JtG?ocid=msedgntp

Blue gazza wrote:https://www.msn.com/en-gb/sport/football/serial-winner-vitor-pereira-is-now-a-major-contender-for-everton-job/ar-AAT3JtG?ocid=msedgntp

Thanks. I can only find 8 trophies that this "serial winner" has won - if they're counting the Porto title win when he was Vilas-Boas's number 2 then that doesn't count.

2 x Portuguese titles with Porto, 2012 & 2013 (whoop)
2 x Portuguese Super Cup wins, 2011 & 2012 (big time)
Greek League & Cup double, 2015 (dominant)
Chinese League title, 2018 (legendary)
Chinese Super Cup, 2019 (tumbleweed)

I think it was Mourinho who first had the chutzpah to include Community Shield/Super Cup wins in his list of trophies won.  Load of bollocks. I therefore declare that Senhor Pereira has won 5 trophies, not 8 or 9.

Of course, he has one thing going for him - he isn't Rafa Benitez. So let's not be too negative.

I think we'll get whichever manager Kia Joorabchian tells Moshiri to appoint. Coincidentally, he will be one of Kia Joorabchian's clients. Said manager will then make a couple of quick signings, probably overpaid underperformers looking for one last pay day who will, again coincidentally, be clients of Kia Joorabchian.

Sadly, the chances of us making a sensible appointment based on the merits and suitability of the candidate are less than zero. We are fucking doomed. I can't see where our next points will come from and when Newcastle beat us in February we will be sliding towards relegation. I think we probably need to appoint someone like Jesus Christ or Moses at this stage. Miracles are needed.

Portuguese coach Vitor Pereira is on Everton's radar as owner Farhad Moshiri continues the search for a successor to sacked manager Rafael Benitez. Pereira, 53, has been linked with the club on several occasions and is currently out of work after leaving Fenerbahce in December. Belgium's Roberto Martinez was subject of an initial approach but Everton were snubbed by the country's FA. Derby boss and ex-Everton striker Wayne Rooney is also under consideration.The Goodison Park club are understood to have spoken to former Chelsea boss Frank Lampard following the rebuffed approach for Martinez, who was sacked by Moshiri in 2016.Italy's World Cup-winning captain Fabio Cannavaro is another name who has been mentioned as a possible candidate.Duncan Ferguson has again assumed caretaker control and was in charge for Saturday's 1-0 home defeat to Aston Villa, which left Everton in 16th place in the Premier League with only one win in their last 14 league games. Everton spoke to Pereira before Carlo Ancelotti was appointed in 2019 but he signed a lucrative new deal at Shanghai SIPG in China.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60106406?at_custom1=%5Bpost+type%5D&at_campaign=64&at_custom4=A60D041E-7CE2-11EC-A084-4E00BECD475E&at_medium=custom7&at_custom2=facebook_page&at_custom3=Match+of+the+Day&fbclid=IwAR0rNxdJSXfrKXrcryHOJPvaaQCAZUYllwZK5Gw6uc81T6CNBR5Ib9zl7ag

The reality is that no one decent is going to come to us.

hairy cataract wrote:I think we'll get whichever manager Kia Joorabchian tells Moshiri to appoint.  Coincidentally, he will be one of Kia Joorabchian's clients.  Said manager will then make a couple of quick signings, probably overpaid underperformers looking for one last pay day who will, again coincidentally, be clients of Kia Joorabchian.

Sadly, the chances of us making a sensible appointment based on the merits and suitability of the candidate are less than zero.  We are fucking doomed.  I can't see where our next points will come from and when Newcastle beat us in February we will be sliding towards relegation.  I think we probably need to appoint someone like Jesus Christ or Moses at this stage.  Miracles are needed.

I think I genuinely preferred the days when we were skint.

Although I don't think we should have to choose between "no hope cos we're skint" and "no hope cos we're run by an absolute knob with a few quid who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and who's in the pocket of a super-agent." Other clubs outside the Super League Six seem to have a third option - "no hope but at least we have the dignity of following a club that's doing what it can to survive, compete and provide a modicum of enjoyment to its fanbase given the circumstances."

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I think we'll get whichever manager Kia Joorabchian tells Moshiri to appoint.  Coincidentally, he will be one of Kia Joorabchian's clients.  Said manager will then make a couple of quick signings, probably overpaid underperformers looking for one last pay day who will, again coincidentally, be clients of Kia Joorabchian.

Sadly, the chances of us making a sensible appointment based on the merits and suitability of the candidate are less than zero.  We are fucking doomed.  I can't see where our next points will come from and when Newcastle beat us in February we will be sliding towards relegation.  I think we probably need to appoint someone like Jesus Christ or Moses at this stage.  Miracles are needed.

I think I genuinely preferred the days when we were skint.

Although I don't think we should have to choose between "no hope cos we're skint" and "no hope cos we're run by an absolute knob with a few quid who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and who's in the pocket of a super-agent." Other clubs outside the Super League Six seem to have a third option - "no hope but at least we have the dignity of following a club that's doing what it can to survive, compete and provide a modicum of enjoyment to its fanbase given the circumstances."

Up until now, I was prepared to forgive Moshiri - and the club in general - anything if they were going to provide us with a shiny new stadium. But I was up in Liverpool on Friday and I persuaded my mate to take a walk from town up to Bramley Moore Dock. We got as far as Waterloo Dock and gave up. It's a long way. It's a fucking grim walk. And it's freezing. We thought we might stop for a bite to eat along the way, but there is nothing at all in the way of facilities on the walk. Of course, one would hope that the ground will drag some more investment into the area, but I reckon it will be very localised to the ground itself. Between town and BMD there is nothing.

So now, I'd be happy to stay at Goodison and give all the money back. Give me back my old Everton please.

hairy cataract wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I think we'll get whichever manager Kia Joorabchian tells Moshiri to appoint.  Coincidentally, he will be one of Kia Joorabchian's clients.  Said manager will then make a couple of quick signings, probably overpaid underperformers looking for one last pay day who will, again coincidentally, be clients of Kia Joorabchian.

Sadly, the chances of us making a sensible appointment based on the merits and suitability of the candidate are less than zero.  We are fucking doomed.  I can't see where our next points will come from and when Newcastle beat us in February we will be sliding towards relegation.  I think we probably need to appoint someone like Jesus Christ or Moses at this stage.  Miracles are needed.

I think I genuinely preferred the days when we were skint.

Although I don't think we should have to choose between "no hope cos we're skint" and "no hope cos we're run by an absolute knob with a few quid who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and who's in the pocket of a super-agent." Other clubs outside the Super League Six seem to have a third option - "no hope but at least we have the dignity of following a club that's doing what it can to survive, compete and provide a modicum of enjoyment to its fanbase given the circumstances."

Up until now, I was prepared to forgive Moshiri - and the club in general - anything if they were going to provide us with a shiny new stadium.  But I was up in Liverpool on Friday and I persuaded my mate to take a walk from town up to Bramley Moore Dock.  We got as far as Waterloo Dock and gave up. It's a long way. It's a fucking grim walk. And it's freezing.  We thought we might stop for a bite to eat along the way, but there is nothing at all in the way of facilities on the walk.  Of course, one would hope that the ground will drag some more investment into the area, but I reckon it will be very localised to the ground itself.  Between town and BMD there is nothing.  

So now, I'd be happy to stay at Goodison and give all the money back.  Give me back my old Everton please.

Funnily enough I was going to do that exact same thing with my lad when we were due to go up for the Leicester game. Inspired by seeing pictures of the first above-ground concrete slabs getting put up, and by stories of how the owners of the Spellow and Winslow were looking to relocate over there, I thought we'd walk from town to the site, check out the Bramley Moore pub while we're there, and use our imaginations to picture how it would all look once done.

Glad you've taken the trouble for me. Also I'm no longer sure if I fancy buying a season ticket in the new Koorabchian Stand anyway. Still, Graeme Sharp is on the board now so I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I think we'll get whichever manager Kia Joorabchian tells Moshiri to appoint.  Coincidentally, he will be one of Kia Joorabchian's clients.  Said manager will then make a couple of quick signings, probably overpaid underperformers looking for one last pay day who will, again coincidentally, be clients of Kia Joorabchian.

Sadly, the chances of us making a sensible appointment based on the merits and suitability of the candidate are less than zero.  We are fucking doomed.  I can't see where our next points will come from and when Newcastle beat us in February we will be sliding towards relegation.  I think we probably need to appoint someone like Jesus Christ or Moses at this stage.  Miracles are needed.

I think I genuinely preferred the days when we were skint.

Although I don't think we should have to choose between "no hope cos we're skint" and "no hope cos we're run by an absolute knob with a few quid who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and who's in the pocket of a super-agent." Other clubs outside the Super League Six seem to have a third option - "no hope but at least we have the dignity of following a club that's doing what it can to survive, compete and provide a modicum of enjoyment to its fanbase given the circumstances."

Up until now, I was prepared to forgive Moshiri - and the club in general - anything if they were going to provide us with a shiny new stadium.  But I was up in Liverpool on Friday and I persuaded my mate to take a walk from town up to Bramley Moore Dock.  We got as far as Waterloo Dock and gave up. It's a long way. It's a fucking grim walk. And it's freezing.  We thought we might stop for a bite to eat along the way, but there is nothing at all in the way of facilities on the walk.  Of course, one would hope that the ground will drag some more investment into the area, but I reckon it will be very localised to the ground itself.  Between town and BMD there is nothing.  

So now, I'd be happy to stay at Goodison and give all the money back.  Give me back my old Everton please.

Funnily enough I was going to do that exact same thing with my lad when we were due to go up for the Leicester game. Inspired by seeing pictures of the first above-ground concrete slabs getting put up, and by stories of how the owners of the Spellow and Winslow were looking to relocate over there, I thought we'd walk from town to the site, check out the Bramley Moore pub while we're there, and use our imaginations to picture how it would all look once done.

Glad you've taken the trouble for me. Also I'm no longer sure if I fancy buying a season ticket in the new Koorabchian Stand anyway. Still, Graeme Sharp is on the board now so I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

isn't the key thing for the new stadium to be easily accessible for the super yacht and chopper owners... us poorer fuckers can walk in the cold & pick up a burger from a van... and pay twice the entry fee btw than we do now

I've always wanted us to re-build / renovate the Old Lady... one stand at a time.... oh well.

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I think we'll get whichever manager Kia Joorabchian tells Moshiri to appoint.  Coincidentally, he will be one of Kia Joorabchian's clients.  Said manager will then make a couple of quick signings, probably overpaid underperformers looking for one last pay day who will, again coincidentally, be clients of Kia Joorabchian.

Sadly, the chances of us making a sensible appointment based on the merits and suitability of the candidate are less than zero.  We are fucking doomed.  I can't see where our next points will come from and when Newcastle beat us in February we will be sliding towards relegation.  I think we probably need to appoint someone like Jesus Christ or Moses at this stage.  Miracles are needed.

I think I genuinely preferred the days when we were skint.

Although I don't think we should have to choose between "no hope cos we're skint" and "no hope cos we're run by an absolute knob with a few quid who hasn't got a clue what he's doing and who's in the pocket of a super-agent." Other clubs outside the Super League Six seem to have a third option - "no hope but at least we have the dignity of following a club that's doing what it can to survive, compete and provide a modicum of enjoyment to its fanbase given the circumstances."

Up until now, I was prepared to forgive Moshiri - and the club in general - anything if they were going to provide us with a shiny new stadium.  But I was up in Liverpool on Friday and I persuaded my mate to take a walk from town up to Bramley Moore Dock.  We got as far as Waterloo Dock and gave up. It's a long way. It's a fucking grim walk. And it's freezing.  We thought we might stop for a bite to eat along the way, but there is nothing at all in the way of facilities on the walk.  Of course, one would hope that the ground will drag some more investment into the area, but I reckon it will be very localised to the ground itself.  Between town and BMD there is nothing.  

So now, I'd be happy to stay at Goodison and give all the money back.  Give me back my old Everton please.

Funnily enough I was going to do that exact same thing with my lad when we were due to go up for the Leicester game. Inspired by seeing pictures of the first above-ground concrete slabs getting put up, and by stories of how the owners of the Spellow and Winslow were looking to relocate over there, I thought we'd walk from town to the site, check out the Bramley Moore pub while we're there, and use our imaginations to picture how it would all look once done.

Glad you've taken the trouble for me. Also I'm no longer sure if I fancy buying a season ticket in the new Koorabchian Stand anyway. Still, Graeme Sharp is on the board now so I'm sure everything will work out just fine.

isn't the key thing for the new stadium to be easily accessible for the super yacht and chopper owners... us poorer fuckers can walk in the cold & pick up a burger from a van... and pay twice the entry fee btw than we do now

I've always wanted us to re-build / renovate the Old Lady... one stand at a time.... oh well.

I'm not sure there are any plans for a super-yacht marina to be honest. However, I did think I might buy a flat in New Brighton overlooking the ground, and I could swim over for the match. Or paddleboard maybe. But a small yacht would be ideal.

Anyway Ranieri is now available.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:Anyway Ranieri is now available.

I've always liked Ranieri... but his showing at Watford has been awful... on a par FSW awful

Looks like this Pereira thing is happening then...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60135020

I am completely

I actually think I'm past caring. I genuinely think we're going down.

Maybe this johnny can bring a couple of young and eager Portuguese Eusebio wannabes with him on loan for the season, that'll be nice. Not sure why City and Wolves are allowed to hog all the good Portuguese players.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:Looks like this Pereira thing is happening then...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/60135020

I am completely

I actually think I'm past caring. I genuinely think we're going down.

Maybe this johnny can bring a couple of young and eager Portuguese Eusebio wannabes with him on loan for the season, that'll be nice. Not sure why City and Wolves are allowed to hog all the good Portuguese players.

I'm reading now that this might not be true, or to be more precise, Moshiri has been talked out of making a 'knee-jerk' appointment. Who knows. Like you say, who cares.

Everton owner Farhad Moshiri is overruling the Toffees board in pressing ahead with the appointment of Vitor Pereira as manager, with club executives wanting to take their time before making a decision. (Mirror)

I dunno, media is media, assume it's mostly bollocks. Perhaps we've spoken to Lampard and he's told us to do one - why would he take this on when he can wait til the summer and probably have a few jobs available with a clean slate, knowing the club'll still be in the PL? Generally, you'd have to be a bit of a nutter to take on this job, and Pereira is clearly that. We're in the shit here, only a manager with nothing to lose will come here right now. If we weren't a basket case of a club, we'd have appointed a manager in the summer who might have stood a chance of seeing the season out.

hairy cataract wrote:I dunno, media is media, assume it's mostly bollocks.  Perhaps we've spoken to Lampard and he's told us to do one  - why would he take this on when he can wait til the summer and probably have a few jobs available with a clean slate, knowing the club'll still be in the PL?   Generally, you'd have to be a bit of a nutter to take on this job, and Pereira is clearly that.  We're in the shit here, only a manager with nothing to lose will come here right now.  If we weren't a basket case of a club, we'd have appointed a manager in the summer who might have stood a chance of seeing the season out.

the waiter was a shockingly bad appointment... even if he wasn't as shit as he turned out to be he was always going to be... well... shit.

Despite not particularly liking him (cough) I did want him to do well.... but he proved he was a dinosaur & robbed us of a shed load of wonga & left us in dire straights.

Surely the board will learn... surely.... but probably not eh

hairy cataract wrote:I dunno, media is media, assume it's mostly bollocks.  Perhaps we've spoken to Lampard and he's told us to do one  - why would he take this on when he can wait til the summer and probably have a few jobs available with a clean slate, knowing the club'll still be in the PL?   Generally, you'd have to be a bit of a nutter to take on this job, and Pereira is clearly that.  We're in the shit here, only a manager with nothing to lose will come here right now.  If we weren't a basket case of a club, we'd have appointed a manager in the summer who might have stood a chance of seeing the season out.

The media are also now saying that we have invited Niko Kovic and Rudi Garcia to come and do some presentations. I presume it's for the manager position, though I think they are currently out of work, so it may be that they have taken up selling insurance or something.

I think I'm going to stop reading anything now and just wait for the inevitably shit offiical announcement.

Latest rumour is that Pereira is very upset that the Everton fans think he's a cunt, he's got nothing to with Kia Joorabchian, it was Billy K who told him to apply, and he's threatening to withdraw from the contest. Meanwhile Little Denise B-B is fighting for Lampard because he's really lovely and does lots of work for charity. Graeme Sharpe says "I'll just wait til Bill tells me what to think", and Moshiri says "why can't I be the manager?".

Fucking basket case of a club alright. I'd take Lampard right now because he could do a job for us in midfield.

Can we get Kevin Campbell out of retirement to save us? Fuck it, at this rate we may as well just give him the manager's job.

Pereira just been interviewed on Sky, bigging himself up for the job. Welcome to the circus, unlimited jobs for clowns, apply Moshiri c/o Clown Town, Liverpool 4.

How about this bloke

Goodison_Gringo wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I dunno, media is media, assume it's mostly bollocks.  Perhaps we've spoken to Lampard and he's told us to do one  - why would he take this on when he can wait til the summer and probably have a few jobs available with a clean slate, knowing the club'll still be in the PL?   Generally, you'd have to be a bit of a nutter to take on this job, and Pereira is clearly that.  We're in the shit here, only a manager with nothing to lose will come here right now.  If we weren't a basket case of a club, we'd have appointed a manager in the summer who might have stood a chance of seeing the season out.

The media are also now saying that we have invited Niko Kovic and Rudi Garcia to come and do some presentations. I presume it's for the manager position, though I think they are currently out of work, so it may be that they have taken up selling insurance or something.

I think I'm going to stop reading anything now and just wait for the inevitably shit offiical announcement.

Given who else we're linked with, I'd take Rudi Garcia in a heartbeat. By "take him" I don't mean beat him up, I mean appoint him as our manager. Although I could probably have him if he offered me outside the Winslow.

I mean, the more I think about it, the more angry I am that he might think he could take me down. Come on then yer fucker, let's get this thing on, I've done a bit.

Anyway he won his first 10 games as Roma manager. We'll have some of that. In fact, we'll settle for drawing his first two games and making Rondon available on Freecycle. "Will take to the dump Saturday if no enquiries."

The state of our club is depressing to say the least. Fans protesting outside the ground, screaming at Bill K. after the Villa game when he's leaving the stadium, Twitter accounts with fans arguing blowing up, etc. etc.

I might just have to take some time away from this all.

Having said that, I fully expect to be all over the FA Cup game this weekend like a proper meth-head who just can't wait until the next fix.