Arse v Everton

Oh shit.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:Oh shit.

Is right.

Tonteau wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:Oh shit.

Is right.

Confidence level: cornered by hungry, rabid wild dogs armed only with a comedy inflatable hammer to defend myself.

Realistically... we can basically write this off, avoid a spanking (sub two goals, plz), avoid injuries/sendings off, have a few positives (some good play? maybe a forward actually scoring a goal?).

Hopefully... Everyone plays their positions really well, no silly mistakes (makes them beat us), dyche gets them all a few lines of speed/red bull or whatever liverpool have been on for the past 5-6 years, Arsenal feel the weight of this being their game in hand and massively fluff their lines, get progressively more frustrated, crowd start complaining, and we either hold them to nil or nick a goal. We won't win but maybe could get a draw.

if we can get a 0-0 i'll be delighted... I fear they'll be smarting for GP revenge though .. could be horrible

Tonteau wrote:Realistically... we can basically write this off, avoid a spanking (sub two goals, plz), avoid injuries/sendings off, have a few positives (some good play? maybe a forward actually scoring a goal?).

Hopefully... Everyone plays their positions really well, no silly mistakes (makes them beat us), dyche gets them all a few lines of speed/red bull or whatever liverpool have been on for the past 5-6 years, Arsenal feel the weight of this being their game in hand and massively fluff their lines, get progressively more frustrated, crowd start complaining, and we either hold them to nil or nick a goal. We won't win but maybe could get a draw.

Yes there is a corner of my mind where I'm playing out a park-the-bus 1-0 win here. I can see the headlines about us being Arsenal's nemesis this season etc.

Unfortunately this is the same part of my mind where I sometimes envisage Carey Mulligan or that singer out of Wolf Alice stalking me and not leaving me alone until I agree to move in with them.

A few weeks ago, if you'd given me the choice between a) winning 1:0 at Goodison but getting a spanking in London; or b) losing both games 2:0; then I'd have happily taken the 3 points.
Tbh, I'd have probably settled for a 0:0 draw at home with a London thrashing.

If we can avoid injuries and red cards and keep the score below 4, then I'd say we did quite well out of this double-header. We have nothing to lose.

0:1 Mykolenko.

A lot of fear and negativity on here. I'm particularly disappointed that Rotts doesn't think he stands a chance with the singer from Wolf Alice. She once wrote a lyric stating she "jumped on a 43", and the 43 bus goes directly from her house (I assume) to mine, so there's every chance of me bumping into her and putting a word in for Rotts.

So, you see, there's nothing to be negative about; we will beat the Arse and Rotts will move in with Alice, or whatever she's called.

This is going to be a Dyche masterclass leading to a comfortable victory for the blues. 0-3, Coleman, Mark Higgins, Sandy Brown with the goals.

Ye of little faith

hairy cataract wrote:A lot of fear and negativity on here.  I'm particularly disappointed that Rotts doesn't think he stands a chance with the singer from Wolf Alice.  She once wrote a lyric stating she "jumped on a 43", and the 43 bus goes directly from her house (I assume) to mine, so there's every chance of me bumping into her and putting a word in for Rotts.

So, you see, there's nothing to be negative about; we will beat the Arse and Rotts will move in with Alice, or whatever she's called.

This is going to be a Dyche masterclass leading to a comfortable victory for the blues.  0-3, Coleman, Mark Higgins, Sandy Brown with the goals.

Ye of little faith

Thanks mate, appreciated. Tell her I have all their albums, even the shit ones. Tell her also that her bandmate, Wolf from Gladiators, is holding her back and that she should go solo.

fourdoors wrote:A few weeks ago, if you'd given me the choice between a) winning 1:0 at Goodison but getting a spanking in London; or b) losing both games 2:0; then I'd have happily taken the 3 points.
Tbh, I'd have probably settled for a 0:0 draw at home with a London thrashing.

If we can avoid injuries and red cards and keep the score below 4, then I'd say we did quite well out of this double-header. We have nothing to lose.

0:1 Mykolenko.

You have no business bringing your sensible and rational theories to this board. No no, you're supposed to be depressed when we lose and manic when we win.

I myself have recently resolved to end such behaviour, and to greet every Everton result, win lose or draw, with merely a Carlo eyebrow raise. Nevertheless, old habits die hard and even if we do slip to an expected defeat tonight, it's going to be tough to resist picking a fight with a small bloke in the street.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

fourdoors wrote:A few weeks ago, if you'd given me the choice between a) winning 1:0 at Goodison but getting a spanking in London; or b) losing both games 2:0; then I'd have happily taken the 3 points.
Tbh, I'd have probably settled for a 0:0 draw at home with a London thrashing.

If we can avoid injuries and red cards and keep the score below 4, then I'd say we did quite well out of this double-header. We have nothing to lose.

0:1 Mykolenko.

You have no business bringing your sensible and rational theories to this board. No no, you're supposed to be depressed when we lose and manic when we win.

I myself have recently resolved to end such behaviour, and to greet every Everton result, win lose or draw, with merely a Carlo eyebrow raise. Nevertheless, old habits die hard and even if we do slip to an expected defeat tonight, it's going to be tough to resist picking a fight with a small bloke in the street.

My problem is that the small bloke in the street is usually ME. People keep picking fights with me when Everton lose.
I don't go out much any more.

Anyway, if we lose tonight, by more than 2 goals away to the league leaders, then it proves Dyche is out of his depth. He needs to go, and all you Dychettes can go with him.
Bring back Moyles! He wouldn't have dithered in the transfer window like Dithering Dychey, he'd have signed a 5-goal-a-season striker faster than you can blink. And lured Arteta, Cahill and van der Meyde out of retirement, too.

fourdoors wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

fourdoors wrote:A few weeks ago, if you'd given me the choice between a) winning 1:0 at Goodison but getting a spanking in London; or b) losing both games 2:0; then I'd have happily taken the 3 points.
Tbh, I'd have probably settled for a 0:0 draw at home with a London thrashing.

If we can avoid injuries and red cards and keep the score below 4, then I'd say we did quite well out of this double-header. We have nothing to lose.

0:1 Mykolenko.

You have no business bringing your sensible and rational theories to this board. No no, you're supposed to be depressed when we lose and manic when we win.

I myself have recently resolved to end such behaviour, and to greet every Everton result, win lose or draw, with merely a Carlo eyebrow raise. Nevertheless, old habits die hard and even if we do slip to an expected defeat tonight, it's going to be tough to resist picking a fight with a small bloke in the street.

My problem is that the small bloke in the street is usually ME. People keep picking fights with me when Everton lose.
I don't go out much any more.

Anyway, if we lose tonight, by more than 2 goals away to the league leaders, then it proves Dyche is out of his depth. He needs to go, and all you Dychettes can go with him.
Bring back Moyles! He wouldn't have dithered in the transfer window like Dithering Dychey, he'd have signed a 5-goal-a-season striker faster than you can blink. And lured Arteta, Cahill and van der Meyde out of retirement, too.

You can't blame me for that, the last time I was in Germany, we beat Palace to ensure our survival. If you happened to be at Cologne airport that night and saw a fat bloke walking around with a mad grin on his face, that was me.

Anyway that's more like it. I've been having doubts about Dyche myself, ever since Villa did their penalty against us. I think he's on borrowed time, tonight might finish him off. Personally I would hand over the reins to the estate of Howard Kendall for a fourth managerial stint by proxy.

Michael Keane starting …in defence

We could be the first team ever to score less than nil tonight.

Tonteau wrote:Michael Keane starting …in defence

He should have put Mina up front instead.
You can't get worse than nil. You know it makes sense Rodney.

Yankthattoffee wrote:

Tonteau wrote:Michael Keane starting …in defence

He should have put Mina up front instead.
You can't get worse than nil. You know it makes sense Rodney.

I’m fully on board with Keane or Mina up front. At least for half an hour at the end of the match.

Tonteau wrote:Michael Keane starting …in defence

I take it that his feet-in-concrete for the second goal, was enough for SD to dump Coady.
Coady has more pace. Don't get this one.

The Beeb live feed reporter needs to lay off the alcopops:

20:20
Post update

Arsenal 0-0 Everton

Everton keeper Jordan Henderson flies off his line to dive at the feet of Gabriel Martinelli, who is running onto a through ball.

1-0. Hard to see a way back given our inability to score.

2-0

I'm not watching, I'm listening to the (admittedly incredibly biased) commentary on the official site. They're swearing blind that the second goal was offside.

I’m watching a dodgy stream on Twitter, looked tight but either way Gueye’s had a shocker there.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:2-0

I'm not watching, I'm listening to the (admittedly incredibly biased) commentary on the official site. They're swearing blind that the second goal was offside.

The BBC "LIVE" site, which takes a very relaxed attitude to what "live" actually means, has not made any comment on it yet. They'll get around to it, eventually.

But apparently the second goal was, in official football cliché speak, not one that Idrissa will enjoy seeing again.

Done ok overall but with no strikers we have to be perfect at the back. Myko a yard out of position for Saka’s opener (maybe a little harsh, good turn and finish to be fair) and Gueye totally switching off for the second. Haul off Maupay and maybe Gueye and get Gray and Mina up front for blackadder goes forth over the top ending.

The Beeb have moved on, the goal must have been four yards onside as they still haven't mentioned any hint of controversy about it. Instead we're getting this level of searing, intelligent football insight. Worth every penny of the license fee.