Liverpool v Everton

Liverpool V Everton live from Anfield 24th April 2022 K/O 16.30PM Sky Sports.

In many peoples eyes this game is a forgone conclusion.

Everton will give late fitness test to Dominic Calvert Lewin who was missing in the draw against Leicester City,
Calvert Lewin sustained a minor Injury, so we are led to believe.

How ever, if Calvert Lewin is missing for the Derby I would consider putting Richarlison out on the Wing, and give Rondon a chance up front.
Demari Gray hasn't done a great deal in quite a few games now time to rest him to the bench , I would also look at playing Gomes with Delph together if both fit.
Gordon and Richarlison on the wings Rondon up front with Iwobie behind him. Mykelenco has been making strides in the last few games,
Seamus Colemans fitness and age starting to show, would prefer Godfrey or Patterson as both got pace Coleman will slip up.
I would also play both Mina and Keane In the middle for a bit height.

We have nothing to lose so big Frank don't play it too safe.
we can get something out this game.

Going a 1-2 the might blues Richarlison and Gordon UTFT's

A million nil to the RS. Salah to score at least one of then

I'm thinking I might build a compost bin in the garden instead.

I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

Watching the highlights on how the Shite tore Man Utd a new one with their passing and cutting through the Man Utd defense with quick movements and ball distribution, I fear the worst.

Yankthattoffee wrote:I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

Yes, if only for reasons of morbid curiosity, or to take a shit in an Anfield bog and deliberately not flush.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

Yes, if only for reasons of morbid curiosity, or to take a shit next to an Anfield bog.

Slight update.

Yankthattoffee wrote:I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

I'd never advocate not going, but I don't see any scenario where you'll have anything other than a thouroughly shit day.

Goodison_Gringo wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

I'd never advocate not going, but I don't see any scenario where you'll have anything other than a thouroughly shit day.

But the trade-off is, if he doesn't go and we somehow pull off a miracle then he'll regret it for the rest of his days.

Yeah, there is more chance of Shergar being appointed our next manager by the end of this season than of us avoiding an absolute dicking, but ever since Trump became president I've been reluctant to entirely rule out any kind of crazy scenario.

I think we need to summon up the spirit of Glen Keeley just to keep the score down to five. Yank, will you settle for a 5-0? Is that somehow acceptable in the current circumstances? I do remember a Suarez-era derby where the Shite got to four and then just got a bit bored (if memory serves, Sturridge couldn't even be bothered to score a pen to go 5-0 up with about 35 minutes left.) They've got Villarreal three days after so they might go easy on us.

Where is a Henderson/Kabak centre-back pairing when you really need it, eh?

Biggest ever victory was a redcunt 6-0 win in 1935. A very possible outcome of a bigger victory this weekend. Guaranteed bottom 3 as Burnley will get something v Wolves. Losses to Chavs and Foxes and we will be well adrift so remaining games after that are irrelevant. We are totally doomed!!

Yankthattoffee wrote:I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

If you're fucking mental

For those of you with the slightest flicker of hope, please may I crush that for you.

Klopp is not the amiable genius he's made out to be. He's a massive cunt, an absolute fucking frothing headcase who pulls the legs off hamsters when nobody's looking. I'm pretty sure he shot Bambi, then fucked her up the arse as she lay dying. And I think I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here, rather than exaggerating.

So his team talk will be: "You know those horrible kopite twats out there, the ones that are only happy when they're taunting the loveable blues, the ones that come from out of town once a year to parade their badges and flags around the fucking so-called Cavern Quarter? This is for them. We won't be playing Everton again for some time, so let's break all records. Do them 10-0. Give it everything, all the cheating, all the brilliance, all the piss-taking you've got. Once we're up by seven or eight, I'm going to bring on a couple of 16 year olds from the reserves, possibly even give my nan an outing at centre half, just to rub it in. We're going to win the lot, we're going to relegate them, we're going to humiliate them. Now go out there and make me proud, be eleven massive cunts!"

hairy cataract wrote:For those of you with the slightest flicker of hope, please may I crush that for you.

Klopp is not the amiable genius he's made out to be.  He's a massive cunt, an absolute fucking frothing headcase who pulls the legs off hamsters when nobody's looking.  I'm pretty sure he shot Bambi, then fucked her up the arse as she lay dying.  And I think I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here, rather than exaggerating.

So his team talk will be: "You know those horrible kopite twats out there, the ones that are only happy when they're taunting the loveable blues, the ones that come from out of town once a year to parade their badges and flags around the fucking so-called Cavern Quarter?  This is for them.  We won't be playing Everton again for some time, so let's break all records. Do them 10-0.  Give it everything, all the cheating, all the brilliance, all the piss-taking you've got.  Once we're up by seven or eight, I'm going to bring on a couple of 16 year olds from the reserves, possibly even give my nan an outing at centre half, just to rub it in.  We're going to win the lot, we're going to relegate them, we're going to humiliate them.  Now go out there and make me proud, be eleven massive cunts!"

can't argue with that.. especially the bits about Bambi .. I think you missed out the fact that Klopp is also related to Putin though

hairy cataract wrote:For those of you with the slightest flicker of hope, please may I crush that for you.

Klopp is not the amiable genius he's made out to be.  He's a massive cunt, an absolute fucking frothing headcase who pulls the legs off hamsters when nobody's looking.  I'm pretty sure he shot Bambi, then fucked her up the arse as she lay dying.  And I think I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt here, rather than exaggerating.

So his team talk will be: "You know those horrible kopite twats out there, the ones that are only happy when they're taunting the loveable blues, the ones that come from out of town once a year to parade their badges and flags around the fucking so-called Cavern Quarter?  This is for them.  We won't be playing Everton again for some time, so let's break all records. Do them 10-0.  Give it everything, all the cheating, all the brilliance, all the piss-taking you've got.  Once we're up by seven or eight, I'm going to bring on a couple of 16 year olds from the reserves, possibly even give my nan an outing at centre half, just to rub it in.  We're going to win the lot, we're going to relegate them, we're going to humiliate them.  Now go out there and make me proud, be eleven massive cunts!"

Oh bollocks, I've heard about his nan. Reads the game brilliantly, dominant in the air and a threat from corners. We're truly fucked.

My nan died years ago but if Keane plays I would fancy her to get a goal. I am totally avoiding this fucking game, phone off, the lot. It's going to be a cricket score. The club is in such a mess only Anders Limpar and the Fortress Funding can save us now!!

callmebubbles wrote:My nan died years ago but if Keane plays I would fancy her to get a goal. I am totally avoiding this fucking game,  phone off, the lot. It's going to be a cricket score. The club is in such a mess only Anders Limpar and the Fortress Funding can save us now!!

I've always wondered who callmebubbles was, and now I've realised that he's the voice in my head. I will be doing exactly the above, and have the same expectations.

Latest news:  Van de Beek out with a "tight groin" (I get that every time I see her at number 37 putting the bins out).  Luckily, Gomes can cover for him.  Except for two things:  1.  He's shite and 2: He's out injured as well.  I think he's damaged his beard in a tragic incident with his comb.

Revised team:

Pickford
Somebody Anybody Klopp's nan Mykolenko
Me Delph Sheedy Reid
Rondon Dobbin

Begovic
Kenny Keane Holgate Mykolenko
El Ghazi Sigurdsson Gomes Iwobi
Dele Rondon

What could possibly go wrong??

I've just watched Frank's press conference, and he almost pissed himself laughing when someone asked him if he'd take a draw.  "What do you think?" was his reply, when he finally recovered from the hysteria.

He also cast some doubt on whether Mina will play.  I kind of got the feeling he was wondering whether it would be better to save Mina for games that we might actually get something out of, since he's obviously made of glass.  I wouldn't be surprised to see an unexpected line-up

Pickford
Coleman Keane Godfrey Mykolenko
Delph Doucoure Allan Iwobi
Rondon Richarlison

Richarlison and Iwobi dropping deep most of the time, Rondon up front giving VVD sly little kicks when nobody's looking. Meanwhile Frank grabs Klopp's bollocks every now and then and reminds him that they've won FACK ALL, YOU FACKING CANT!

hairy cataract wrote:I've just watched Frank's press conference, and he almost pissed himself laughing when someone asked him if he'd take a draw.  "What do you think?" was his reply, when he finally recovered from the hysteria.

He also cast some doubt on whether Mina will play.  I kind of got the feeling he was wondering whether it would be better to save Mina for games that we might actually get something out of, since he's obviously made of glass.  I wouldn't be surprised to see an unexpected line-up

Pickford
Coleman Keane Godfrey Mykolenko
Delph Doucoure Allan Iwobi
Rondon Richarlison

Richarlison and Iwobi dropping deep most of the time, Rondon up front giving VVD sly little kicks when nobody's looking.  Meanwhile Frank grabs Klopp's bollocks every now and then and reminds him that they've won FACK ALL, YOU FACKING CANT!

Got a family party on Saturday night, my brother's 60th. Blues and reds in attendance, plus the odd Chelsea tosser here or there. It's going to be horrible, and I'm going in there swinging, I've told the missus that I intend to be bladdered by the time I arrive and massively verbally aggressive throughout. At least it's before the game rather than after.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I've just watched Frank's press conference, and he almost pissed himself laughing when someone asked him if he'd take a draw.  "What do you think?" was his reply, when he finally recovered from the hysteria.

He also cast some doubt on whether Mina will play.  I kind of got the feeling he was wondering whether it would be better to save Mina for games that we might actually get something out of, since he's obviously made of glass.  I wouldn't be surprised to see an unexpected line-up

Pickford
Coleman Keane Godfrey Mykolenko
Delph Doucoure Allan Iwobi
Rondon Richarlison

Richarlison and Iwobi dropping deep most of the time, Rondon up front giving VVD sly little kicks when nobody's looking.  Meanwhile Frank grabs Klopp's bollocks every now and then and reminds him that they've won FACK ALL, YOU FACKING CANT!

Got a family party on Saturday night, my brother's 60th. Blues and reds in attendance, plus the odd Chelsea tosser here or there. It's going to be horrible, and I'm going in there swinging, I've told the missus that I intend to be bladdered by the time I arrive and massively verbally aggressive throughout. At least it's before the game rather than after.

Chinning a few relatives and starting a massive family feud would be a fitting way to mark our relegation season, Rotts.

hairy cataract wrote:

callmebubbles wrote:My nan died years ago but if Keane plays I would fancy her to get a goal. I am totally avoiding this fucking game,  phone off, the lot. It's going to be a cricket score. The club is in such a mess only Anders Limpar and the Fortress Funding can save us now!!

I've always wondered who callmebubbles was, and now I've realised that he's the voice in my head.  I will be doing exactly the above, and have the same expectations.

I'm watching it until we have no chance at all of winning, when I'll go play golf to lose some frustration by smacking the shit out of my Ping driver... 4:30 kick off... so i didn't book my tee slot until 4:45 & it's a ten minute drive to the course

I'm thinking we may need to start Begovic in goal and Pickford up front. Have 'wor Jord' hobble van Dijk in the first 15 minutes, get sent off, we'll probably lose still but they will fall apart in the league and champion's league and FA cup and then when we get relegated we can laugh that they only won the league cup... bugger, even my wild fantasy has descended into a thoroughly depressing scenario.

hairy cataract wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:I have a ticket for Sunday's game.
Should I go?

If you're fucking mental

OK I'll go. Mental health is questioned.
No Rondon though. VVD will eat him alive.
Pace boys, pace!

Tonteau wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:I've just watched Frank's press conference, and he almost pissed himself laughing when someone asked him if he'd take a draw.  "What do you think?" was his reply, when he finally recovered from the hysteria.

He also cast some doubt on whether Mina will play.  I kind of got the feeling he was wondering whether it would be better to save Mina for games that we might actually get something out of, since he's obviously made of glass.  I wouldn't be surprised to see an unexpected line-up

Pickford
Coleman Keane Godfrey Mykolenko
Delph Doucoure Allan Iwobi
Rondon Richarlison

Richarlison and Iwobi dropping deep most of the time, Rondon up front giving VVD sly little kicks when nobody's looking.  Meanwhile Frank grabs Klopp's bollocks every now and then and reminds him that they've won FACK ALL, YOU FACKING CANT!

Got a family party on Saturday night, my brother's 60th. Blues and reds in attendance, plus the odd Chelsea tosser here or there. It's going to be horrible, and I'm going in there swinging, I've told the missus that I intend to be bladdered by the time I arrive and massively verbally aggressive throughout. At least it's before the game rather than after.

Chinning a few relatives and starting a massive family feud would be a fitting way to mark our relegation season, Rotts.

I'm fucking well up for it mate. And if they decide to go down the patronising sympathy route then I think that will make things even worse. They might choose this option anyway for reasons of self-preservation, given that they'll be well outnumbered by blues.

To be honest it's been years since I've seen a proper ruck at a family do. Largely due to the passing of some weird old relatives in stained suits apparently sat quietly in the corner but who would eventually have one brown and bitter too many and decide to rake up some old, inflammatory family history involving a female relative, her son who looks nothing like his siblings, and a milkman. Usually with dire consequences.

In all seriousness most of the reds who'll be there tomorrow are sound. The problem is, we've got absolutely nothing to come back with, have we? The gap is so wide, what can I hit them with by way of a witty retort when they ask me if I've ever been to the New Den before, given that they're about to cane us 9-0 and do the quadruple? I have two options - to bang on about Suarez being a racist vampire, or to chin one of them.

I might just have to settle for reminding them what happened to van Dijk the last time he tried to assault Pickford's leg with his ACL. That should get them frothing and wipe the smugness from their faces. "Wouldn't it be awful if you suffered any catastrophic injuries tomorrow? That Salah has a lovely left foot doesn't he? Be such a shame if something happened to it."