Tottenham Hotspur v Everton

Tottenham are fighting for a top 4 finish and the guaranteed Champions League income next season.  Everton have already blown their changes of a European place, so they will be on the beaches already, having said goodbye to the majority of the fans with a 2-0 demolition of Burnley at Goodison last week.  On the face of it, this should see Tottenham having Hotspurts all over the place as they cement their place in the CL with a win.... however...

Spurs's form has been all over the place recently, and from seemingly having sown up their CL place in the league a few weeks ago, since beating City in the quarter finals of the CL, they have gone on a run of poor form and indiscipline that has seen them lose to 3 of their 4 premier league games and the first leg of their CL semi final game against Ajax.  The only game they won was against Brighton, a team who was at that point flirting with relegation and hadn't scored in 7 games.

Luckily for Spurs, both Arsenal and Man United have been on worse form towards the end of this season, so unless Spurs lose by a lot and Arsenal bang in a hatfull of goals, they are more or less guaranteed a CL place.

Spurs could still go through to the CL final by beating Ajax at their place, but losing 1-0 at home to them makes this an uphill task, especially without Kane. If they do go through, then obviously the players minds will be on avoiding injury and keeping fit, which could go in our favour.

Everton on the other hand have had a run of 6 clean sheets in 7 games (spoiled by the mighty Fulham...) since getting beaten by a fat Spanish waiter in Newcastle.  We appear to be solid at the back, and while some of that is due to poor finishing by our opposition, a lot of it is down to hard work and organisation.  We are also scoring goals, even though our finishing has also been woeful at times.

Despite Spurs poor form of late, they are still organised and strong in defence, and they will be playing their final home game of the season in front of their fans at their new stadium.  They will be hard to beat, and the Everton players meanwhile have already said goodbye to Goodison, and their minds will be on their summer holidays.

Having said all that, I'm still thinking that Spurs will blow up and bottle it, even if they are not thinking about the CL final.  Its been a long end to the season and they haven't got the squad for the number of games they are playing at the moment, and both Kane and Son will be out for our game against them.  1-0 to Everton.

Everton on the beach, Spurs potentially wrapped in cotton wool for the CL final.... this has got 0-0 written all over it, with barely a tackle made. "After you sir," says Gana to Son. "No sir, you just carry on passing it around at the back," retorts Son.

I'll probably be watching the Brighton v City game, hoping the Mancs don't fuck it up. COYB! (light blues, that is).

Everton have a bit pride and revenge to play for the earlier defeat at Goodison by Tottenham, worst home defeat in years getting a 1-6 drumming, Tottenham look quite safe for fourth place baring a miracle and Everton white wash.
Spurs with both Harry Kane-Min Son unavailable could allow Everton the one revenge match needed to go into next season tails-up.

0-5 UTFT's

hairy cataract wrote:Everton on the beach, Spurs potentially wrapped in cotton wool for the CL final.... this has got 0-0 written all over it, with barely a tackle made.  "After you sir," says Gana to Son.  "No sir, you just carry on passing it around at the back," retorts Son.  

I'll probably be watching the Brighton v City game, hoping the Mancs don't fuck it up. COYB! (light blues, that is).

This was my first choice but I gave it up as I think Spuds will give it a go, and we will react accordingly.

By the way, I also think that Brighton will win against City, last game of the their Premiership, they will want to go out with a bang, so they will score early doors, then defend like a bunch a'buses

Liverpool on the other hand will score early, then push forward looking to increase their lead, putting Wolves under constant pressure until late in extra time when, just as they are reversing their Premier League Champions bus out of the garage, Conor Coady, the ex-Liverpool defender will get up for a free kick and score a worldie off his left buttock as the ball rebounds off it from a Dick Van Dijk clearance straight into the bottom corner of the net. 1-1 and the title goes to City.... on goal difference

Cue the Mersey rising faster than the incoming tide as the tears of 40,000 kopites fill its waters.

With Spuds getting through to the CL final, I reckon they will probably play their best team to give them a run out because it s a few weeks to the final but they will try to avoid injury, sooooo....1-0 to the blues!

2-0 Les Ferdinand with both for Spurs. Assists from Nick Barmby first first and Vinny Samways for the second

Everton boss Marco Silva makes three changes to his team, as the Toffees look to maintain their strong finish to the campaign.

Seamus Coleman, Richarlison and Dominic Calvert-Lewin make way for Yerry Mina, Theo Walcott and Cenk Tosun.

Everton XI: Pickford, Zouma, Keane, Mina, Walcott, Schneiderlin, Gueye, Digne, Sigurdsson, Bernard, Tosun




We must be resting Seamus and Richie for pre-season friendlies

Elsewhere, all sorts of stuff is happening.
Warnock will be even more pyssed off if they go done by just 1 win.
One more please Aguero. I mean AGUEEERRRROOOOO

decent result that

Would have preferred to have won it, and kept a clean sheet, ........and to have had sex with the pussy cat dolls on a bouncy castle all covered in johnsons baby oil.. but a draw will do, but only if Spurs do the decent thing and win the CL.

Sack the Juggler wrote:Would have preferred to have won it, and kept a clean sheet, ........and to have had sex with the pussy cat dolls on a bouncy castle all covered in johnsons baby oil.. but a draw will do, but only if Spurs do the decent thing and win the CL.

They were with me .... and they brought the baby-oil a nice combo of heather and. eucalyptus... really made an impact when it was drizzled..... shall I go on...

Da Judge wrote:

Sack the Juggler wrote:Would have preferred to have won it, and kept a clean sheet, ........and to have had sex with the pussy cat dolls on a bouncy castle all covered in johnsons baby oil.. but a draw will do, but only if Spurs do the decent thing and win the CL.

They were with me .... and they brought the baby-oil a nice combo of heather and. eucalyptus... really made an impact when it was drizzled..... shall I go on...

Nah, I've moved on now..... to destiny's child

Sack the Juggler wrote:

Da Judge wrote:

Sack the Juggler wrote:Would have preferred to have won it, and kept a clean sheet, ........and to have had sex with the pussy cat dolls on a bouncy castle all covered in johnsons baby oil.. but a draw will do, but only if Spurs do the decent thing and win the CL.

They were with me .... and they brought the baby-oil a nice combo of heather and. eucalyptus... really made an impact when it was drizzled..... shall I go on...

Nah, I've moved on now..... to destiny's child

Christ, you two are showing your age there with yer Pussy Cat Dolls and Destiny's Child - I think they're all grandmas by now.

hairy cataract wrote:

Sack the Juggler wrote:

Da Judge wrote:

Sack the Juggler wrote:Would have preferred to have won it, and kept a clean sheet, ........and to have had sex with the pussy cat dolls on a bouncy castle all covered in johnsons baby oil.. but a draw will do, but only if Spurs do the decent thing and win the CL.

They were with me .... and they brought the baby-oil a nice combo of heather and. eucalyptus... really made an impact when it was drizzled..... shall I go on...

Nah, I've moved on now..... to destiny's child

Christ, you two are showing your age there with yer Pussy Cat Dolls and Destiny's Child - I think they're all grandmas by now.  

I would have preferred to have had sex with them when they were in the 20's, 30's and 40's - so just for three decades.