ManUre v Everton

I'm doing this one, fuck you, things can't get any worse.

Team news: United will give a late test tozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzMartial-is-back-and-will-score-at-least-two-aginst-us-againzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

For Everton, Sean Dyche faces a difficult decision about who start up frontzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzwe-won't-scorezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I don't know what I'm more excited about - this game, which is really difficult to call, could go either way, or the CL quarter final line up which so far includes shock qualifiers Bayern Munich, PSG, Man City and Real Madrid. It's the unpredictability of football that I find so fascinating.

I'll make a prediction anyway - United lots (Martial lots, Birtles lots, Gidman OG) Everton none (DCL none, Labone none, we won't even score an OG.)

we've played really quite well in the last few games & not produced goals or the win... so this time I think we are due to play really fucking shite with a xG of around 0.2 & get totally smashed by a sub-standard slaphead managed Manure dogshitteam...

I think we'll be hammered,... probably 6 or 7 nil

I hate football ... FTPL

Same team starts as last time .. DCL dropped & Gana unfit

That first 10 minutes sums up our season perfectly.

how the fuck are we behind here

fucking hell... I'm going to play golf

fucking penalties.. especially when we're playing well

bollocks

and I can't understand why Manure haven't got a third penalty ... oh well that's good for us..

...I really am going to golf now

How do we conspire to miss so many chances.
Every player, every time!

Can’t score won’t score.

Utter shit. The only bright spot has been Branthwaite’s audition for Man U. He must have added another ten mill to the price tag.

I don’t think we’re going to score again in my lifetime, and I’m planning to live til I’m 100

A thoroughly depressing watch. Dyche set the team up really well and United have been shit. But we just don't have the players to do the job. Add to that the continued increase in stupid decisions and mistakes at the back and, all in all, the signs are not good at all.

As I type another glorious opening goes begging. Cow's arse, banjo etc.

The only thing I can suggest is that Dyche plays up front himself. Im not sure what else he can do now.

The Shite will murder utd next week. They were woeful. And yet we couldn’t even get a point off them

It’s bizarre though - I don’t usually watch the pundits after game, but they’re wanking themselves stupid over Garnacho, and going on about utd deserving it. They were fucking dreadful against a team that should have won easily. Fucking BT are as bad as Sky. Only care about the big name clubs

I think that’s me done with Dyche. The players need to take responsibility as well but the tactics, game management, lack of confidence, ridiculous starters and substitutions is all on him.

I’ve no alternative to offer. It’s just another utterly depressing season from Everton.

I believe the next match is Bournemouth away on 30 March... as the shite game has still not been re-arranged...
..that's a fucking long wait for our next defeat.

I'm with Lumper.. .sick & tired of Dyche .. so we're playing well & our xG is amazing, yeah ok... fuck off.... we can't score a goal can we.... we have the worst goal for record in the league apart from the bottom two ... and that includes the games where we had points stolen from us !

3 weeks for a new broom to come in & sweep some finishing into this useless mis-firing shower of shite ??
I don't know who... any fucking one will do.... get Duncan back with Rooney & Unsworth... I don't care... get someone in who understands the club & can kick some sense into our shit attackers.

I very much doubt it will happen & I expect a lot of.. it's not his fault ... yadda yadda bollocks    ....
... well he's the manager & we haven't won in the last ELEVEN league games FFS... been knocked out the FA cup by fucking Luton & dumped out the pepsi piss pot by sodding Fulham...

Close the fucking door on the way out slaphead    

I woke up at 4:30, and I thought to myself "should I get up and get ready for the 5:30 kick-off by making some breakfast and a cup of tea?" But then I came to my senses and went back to bed and even fell asleep until it was close to the game being over. I checked the score and sure enough, 2-0. I fooking knew it (check my Tipster).

Man Utd is one of those teams that even if we had a 10-game winning streak going into the game against them, and they had a 10-game losing streak, they would still win. In American sports this is referred to as "having your number". And in this case this is so fooking true. I'm glad I ended up sleeping through the game, even though I'm sure I watch the game summary / highlights later on today.

Depressing as all get out.

Saturday's defeat at Manchester United means they have now taken five points from 11 Premier League games.