15: Sylvain Distin - Monster

Like a new signing.

Real honest pro in the Phil Neville mould. Has served us well.

Thats great news that Dizzy signs another year.

This is good news.

He doesn't seem a day over 35.

Knight of Thorgothshire wrote:http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/22405636

Dizzie, we need no reminding of the Wembley trip!!!!

What we need to do is ensure Carra makes a similar mistake. He has no legs left at all. Mirallas needs to run at him all day long.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4990139/Sylvain-Distin-says-hes-milkman-to-cheat-on-partner.html

Super wrote:http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4990139/Sylvain-Distin-says-hes-milkman-to-cheat-on-partner.html

He told her he was a milkman.

Would it be unkind to describe her as one of the stupidest women in the world?

hairy cataract wrote:

Super wrote:http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/4990139/Sylvain-Distin-says-hes-milkman-to-cheat-on-partner.html

He told her he was a milkman.  

Would it be unkind to describe her as one of the stupidest women in the world?

Is that why he sang Happy Birthday Big T*TS  

You could hear the hoof beats pound
As they raced across the ground
And the clatter of the wheels
As they spun round and round
And he galloped into Goodison Park
His badge upon his chest
His name was Sylvain
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Dizzie loved a Trolley Dolly
A lady known as Kate
She lived all alone in Linley Lane
and she put it on a plate
They said she was too good for him
She was haughty, proud and chic
But Dizzie got his cocoa there
Three times every week
They called him Dizzie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

She said she'd like to bathe in milk
He said alright sweetheart
And when he finished training
He loaded up the cart
He said you wanted pasturised
Coz pasturised is best
She says Dizzie I'll be happy
If it comes up to me chest
And that tickled old Dizzie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Dizzie had a rival
An evil looking man
Called Naughty Nando Ladyboy
And he drove the bakers van
He tempted her with his tapas
And his Amontillado plonk
And when she saw the size
Of his hot meat pies
The Ladyboy got a bonk
She nearly swooned at his macaroon
And he said now if you treat me right
You'll have lomo every morning
And morcilla every night
He knew once she'd sampled his Paella
He'd have his wicked way
And all Dizzie had to offer
Was a pint of milk a day
Poor Dizzie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

One lunchtime Nando saw Dizzie's horse and cart outside her door
It drove him mad to find it was still there at half past four
And as he leaped down from of his van
Hot blood through his veins did course
And he went across to Dizzie's cart
And he didnarf kick his horse
Who's name was Carra
And he pulled the fastest milkcart in the west

Now Dizzie rushed out into the street
His goldtop in his hand
He said if you want to marry Kate
You'll fight for her like a man
Oh why don't we play cards for her
He sneeringly replied
And just to make it interesting
We'll have a Euro on the side
Now Dizzie dragged him from his van
And beneath the blazing sun
They stood there face to face
And Nando pulled his gun
But Dizzie was to quick
Things didn't go the way Nando planned
And a strawberry flavoured youghurt
Sent it spinning from his hand
Now Kate she ran between them
And tried to keep them apart
And Dizzie pushed her aside
And a rock cake caught him underneath his heart
And he looked up in pained surprise
As the concrete hardened crust
Of a stale pork pie caught him in the eye
And Dizzie bit the dust
Poor Dizzie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

Dizzie was only 35, he didn't want to die
Now he's gone to make deliveries
In that milkround in the sky
Where the customers are angels
And ferocious dogs are banned
And a milkmans life is full of fun
In that fairy dairy land
But a woman's needs are many fold
And Kate she married Nando
But strange things happened on their wedding night
At Dizzieworld, Orlando
Was that the trees a rustling
Or the hinges of the gate
Or Dizzie's ghostly goldtop a rattling in their crate
They won't forget Dizzie
And he drove the fastest milkcart in the west

(I can't believe I just wasted 4 minutes on that  )

http://metro.co.uk/2013/11/09/sylvain-distin-confronts-everton-fans-after-crystal-palace-draw-4180366/

According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Hibbo at CB it is then ... he did alright last time if I remember in a Yoorope game   

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Hibbo at CB it is then ... he did alright last time if I remember in a Yoorope game   

John Stones? Barry to drop back?

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Hibbo at CB it is then ... he did alright last time if I remember in a Yoorope game   

John Stones? Barry to drop back?

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/evertons-john-stones-englands-best-5840853

Martinez quoted as saying "In my eyes he’s the most promising young English centre half that we have in the country."

He looked a bit ropey when he came on the other week to be honest.

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Hibbo at CB it is then ... he did alright last time if I remember in a Yoorope game   

John Stones? Barry to drop back?

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/evertons-john-stones-englands-best-5840853

Martinez quoted as saying "In my eyes he’s the most promising young English centre half that we have in the country."

He looked a bit ropey when he came on the other week to be honest.

pumping him up I wonder for the inevitable call up to the role.... if we get through the CB crisis it will make us real contenders... if we don't we'll be lucky to make Wafer cup

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Hibbo at CB it is then ... he did alright last time if I remember in a Yoorope game   

John Stones? Barry to drop back?

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/evertons-john-stones-englands-best-5840853

Martinez quoted as saying "In my eyes he’s the most promising young English centre half that we have in the country."

He looked a bit ropey when he came on the other week to be honest.

pumping him up I wonder for the inevitable call up to the role.... if we get through the CB crisis it will make us real contenders... if we don't we'll be lucky to make Wafer cup

One thing we know about Martinez is he isn't afraid to throw young players into the thick of it. Centre back though...? That would be some risk.

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Made FooFoo Gwladys wrote:

SouthernSmugToffee wrote:According to SSN he has picked up a hamstring injury training.   

recall Duffy fast ..... Jags is a few weeks away yet... Alcopops & Duffy at CB ... or maybe this is the final chance saloon for J5   

J5 set to sign for West Ham this week.

http://www1.skysports.com/football/news/11661/9095376/transfer-news-john-heitinga-set-for-move-to-west-ham-from-everton

Hibbo at CB it is then ... he did alright last time if I remember in a Yoorope game   

John Stones? Barry to drop back?

http://www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/evertons-john-stones-englands-best-5840853

Martinez quoted as saying "In my eyes he’s the most promising young English centre half that we have in the country."

He looked a bit ropey when he came on the other week to be honest.

pumping him up I wonder for the inevitable call up to the role.... if we get through the CB crisis it will make us real contenders... if we don't we'll be lucky to make Wafer cup

One thing we know about Martinez is he isn't afraid to throw young players into the thick of it. Centre back though...? That would be some risk.

Barkley started off as a CB.

Dizzie is a monster, like a defensive Lukaku.
If he's out he'll be badly missed.
36 huh? Looks great and is always the first to congratulate the likes of Oviedo and Mucha's big day out.
I hope it's a bad rumour.

Yankthattoffee wrote:Dizzie is a monster, like a defensive Lukaku.
If he's out he'll be badly missed.
36 huh? Looks great and is always the first to congratulate the likes of Oviedo and Mucha's big day out.
I hope it's a bad rumour.

Do you know, there's been nothing on any team pages to suggest this story is true. Given that we've 'known' about this injury for several hours now and it's not been substantiated by any reputable source, there's a good chance that it's a load of rubbish.

Barry Horne's Equaliser wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:Dizzie is a monster, like a defensive Lukaku.
If he's out he'll be badly missed.
36 huh? Looks great and is always the first to congratulate the likes of Oviedo and Mucha's big day out.
I hope it's a bad rumour.

Do you know, there's been nothing on any team pages to suggest this story is true. Given that we've 'known' about this injury for several hours now and it's not been substantiated by any reputable source, there's a good chance that it's a load of rubbish.

From the os

Phil Jagielka will again miss out for the Blues after Roberto Martinez confirmed a hamstring injury caused the skipper to sit out Sunday's win over Southampton.

Sylvain Distin picked up a hamstring complaint at the end of that contest but the manager expects the 36-year-old to be fit to start on Wednesday.