8 - Amadou Onana - he's HUGE !

Listen, I've been doing a bit of research into this lad - vids and articles - and I'm really quite excited about him. Maybe I'm overdoing this due to the paucity of genuine talent in our team, but to quote Morrissey, I need to cling to something.

I didn't see the Villa game while I was on holiday, I understand that it was an eventful first 10 minutes for him, good and bad. But my gut feeling based on what I now know is that he could be the sort of player who can own and dominate games Vieira-style, just what we need. He's a bloke who you can build a team around. I hope he starts against Forest.

Striker issues notwithstanding, the addition of Onana, Tarkowski and Coady brings a lot of character and leadership to this team, something we've been desperately lacking for years. I always look back to the mid-80's team and think of the number of potential captains we had back then - Ratcliffe, Sharp, Reid, Southall, Gray, Psycho Pat, Watson. We may not have been better technically or ability-wise than Liverpool, United and Spurs during that period, but that team had so many leaders ready to go into battle, metaphorically speaking, and I'm sure that gave us an edge. The Bayern Munich second leg and Luton cup semi are prime examples of where we simply would not be denied thanks to the attitude of the collective. They'd have happily shed blood for each other.

Look at United now - a collection of poncy individuals that cost half a billion quid who don't understand the very ethic of team sport. We ourselves have been like that for years. Football as warfare - anyone who has ever played the game at any level would have looked around at their team-mates from time to time, say if they're into extra time in a cup semi, and known who they were going into battle with. If you have the right characters around you, it gives you a massive boost and elevates your own game. The very essence of team sport - do it for your mates. Luis Diaz showed this for the Shite at the weekend - as soon as Nunez got sent off, Diaz took the game by the scruff of the neck, very impressive.

Also character, leadership and professionalism can often make up for a lack of natural talent - which is how the likes of James Milner and Gary Neville have such successful careers. I desperately want this to be a gamechanger of a signing. If he starts against Forest, I'm sticking a tenner on him for first goal.

Having written all that, knowing our luck, he'll shred his achilles in the 7th minute. I'm visualising that moment now. Fucking hell I'm sick of talking like this. When will some luck go our way?