Re: Everton v West Ham United

Made 4 Gwladys Sun 03 Mar 2024, 9:55 am

watching it again on MOTD now the initial annoyance has passed... and

how the fuck did we lose that ?!

Yankthattoffee2 Sun 03 Mar 2024, 5:04 pm

Made 4 Gwladys wrote:watching it again on MOTD now the initial annoyance has passed... and

how the fuck did we lose that ?!

Pretty much my thought.
I backed Beto to score. Too long waiting on the spot. After the way he took his pen in the shoot out a few weeks ago, I thought he'd go for power/left, But as he set up he opened his body at the run up moment I had an immediate aaaaagh feeling.
Mind you, enough other chances to have won it. There team and crowd now have a collective panic when we get a chance.
I'd put Garner out wide and dump Harrison for a while. The lad has pace that I didn't think he had, and probably the best cross of the season for Betty's goal. More them when DCL is on the field willl serve him better. DCL's chances always seemed to be 15 ydeards out. Mortar shells landing 5-6 yards out are the ones we need. That how the like of 4' 10" Mane scored so many headers for the shite.
and when the opposition get a corner/free kick in the last minute, it is written in the stars.

hairy cataract Sun 03 Mar 2024, 8:36 pm

Well that was annoying. We totally dominated but, although we had loads of shots and the goalie made loads of saves - did he actually save any that you thought might go in? Maybe Beto's deflected shot, but generally they were comfortable saves. The shame is that West Ham were really out of sorts and we should have won comfortably. Anyway, we are very much relying on either Luton or Forest or both being shitter than us, because I can't see us picking up a huge amount of points between now and the end of the season. And, as our last two games are likely to be the re-arranged RS derby at home, and Arse away, we can't leave it til the last minute to get out of trouble.

Anyway, fuck it, we're shit.

Rotterdam 1985 Sun 03 Mar 2024, 11:08 pm

hairy cataract wrote:Well that was annoying. We totally dominated but, although we had loads of shots and the goalie made loads of saves - did he actually save any that you thought might go in? Maybe Beto's deflected shot, but generally they were comfortable saves. The shame is that West Ham were really out of sorts and we should have won comfortably. Anyway, we are very much relying on either Luton or Forest or both being shitter than us, because I can't see us picking up a huge amount of points between now and the end of the season. And, as our last two games are likely to be the re-arranged RS derby at home, and Arse away, we can't leave it til the last minute to get out of trouble.

Anyway, fuck it, we're shit.

Could be worse. At least we had that weird run a few months ago when we were beating everybody. Our form in that period is football's equivalent of spontaneous human combustion - totally inexplicable. Our recent form is a return to normal, that's what we are.

Luton have now lost four straight, beginning with a home loss to Sheffield United which was also kind of inexplicable, followed by three losses to United, the Shite and Villa in which they gave all of them a scare. They drew 4-4 at Newcastle and spanked Brighton 4-0 before that run of losses. Luton are massively overachieving thanks to good coaching, great team spirit and that lack of pressure that comes with being, well, Luton in the Prem. There is a wild exuberance to their game driven by that absence of any real pressure which, when compared to the nervous, pragmatic stodge we're serving up, creates the impression that they're bound to stay up. They are able to thrive on an FA Cup style atmosphere in most games they play, looking for giant-killings, especially against the better teams. Ultimately, however, although luck and spirit play a part, ability is more important. We know we don't have much of that, but we should remember that neither do Luton, especially at the back.

Their next three games will define their season, for me - Palace away, Bournemouth away and Forest at home. Feisty though they may be against the better teams, these are the kind of games that will decide their fate. And maybe ours, because while they're playing those three games, we only play once, given that Bournemouth is their game in hand and our game against the Shite has been postponed. And that game for us is United away, from which we'll get nowt.

Yesterday felt like the Fulham home defeat during the run-in last season - a game we'd earmarked as a good chance for a desperately-needed win against an out of form mid-table team at GP. This one wasn't quite the same level of "must win" and the worry level isn't as high now as it was then, not necessarily because we're any better but because the teams below and around us are worse. But it stung in a similar way, it felt more significant than most of our other duff results of late.

Compared to Luton, it's slightly different with Forest because they don't just give the big clubs a scare, they often beat them. They've won six league games and four of them have been against Chelsea, Villa, Newcastle and Man U. Potential points deduction aside, I would be good money right now on them finishing above us. So it's Luton I'm watching closely.

Scary times. Or at least they would be if I gave a shit, but I'm dusting off my "I've made my peace with the idea of relegation" trope once again. That run of wins in December feels like a long, long time ago. If I can draw a Bowie parallel, in the context of this season that run was his 1970's. We're now into his unfathomably awful 80's, somewhere in between "Tonight" and "Never Let Me Down". And if the analogy sticks, it doesn't really get much better for quite some time. We've still got to get through the Tin Machine period yet. Shocked

hairy cataract Mon 04 Mar 2024, 8:53 am

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:
hairy cataract wrote:Well that was annoying. We totally dominated but, although we had loads of shots and the goalie made loads of saves - did he actually save any that you thought might go in? Maybe Beto's deflected shot, but generally they were comfortable saves. The shame is that West Ham were really out of sorts and we should have won comfortably. Anyway, we are very much relying on either Luton or Forest or both being shitter than us, because I can't see us picking up a huge amount of points between now and the end of the season. And, as our last two games are likely to be the re-arranged RS derby at home, and Arse away, we can't leave it til the last minute to get out of trouble.

Anyway, fuck it, we're shit.

Could be worse. At least we had that weird run a few months ago when we were beating everybody. Our form in that period is football's equivalent of spontaneous human combustion - totally inexplicable. Our recent form is a return to normal, that's what we are.

Luton have now lost four straight, beginning with a home loss to Sheffield United which was also kind of inexplicable, followed by three losses to United, the Shite and Villa in which they gave all of them a scare. They drew 4-4 at Newcastle and spanked Brighton 4-0 before that run of losses. Luton are massively overachieving thanks to good coaching, great team spirit and that lack of pressure that comes with being, well, Luton in the Prem. There is a wild exuberance to their game driven by that absence of any real pressure which, when compared to the nervous, pragmatic stodge we're serving up, creates the impression that they're bound to stay up. They are able to thrive on an FA Cup style atmosphere in most games they play, looking for giant-killings, especially against the better teams. Ultimately, however, although luck and spirit play a part, ability is more important. We know we don't have much of that, but we should remember that neither do Luton, especially at the back.

Their next three games will define their season, for me - Palace away, Bournemouth away and Forest at home. Feisty though they may be against the better teams, these are the kind of games that will decide their fate. And maybe ours, because while they're playing those three games, we only play once, given that Bournemouth is their game in hand and our game against the Shite has been postponed. And that game for us is United away, from which we'll get nowt.

Yesterday felt like the Fulham home defeat during the run-in last season - a game we'd earmarked as a good chance for a desperately-needed win against an out of form mid-table team at GP. This one wasn't quite the same level of "must win" and the worry level isn't as high now as it was then, not necessarily because we're any better but because the teams below and around us are worse. But it stung in a similar way, it felt more significant than most of our other duff results of late.

Compared to Luton, it's slightly different with Forest because they don't just give the big clubs a scare, they often beat them. They've won six league games and four of them have been against Chelsea, Villa, Newcastle and Man U. Potential points deduction aside, I would be good money right now on them finishing above us. So it's Luton I'm watching closely.

Scary times. Or at least they would be if I gave a shit, but I'm dusting off my "I've made my peace with the idea of relegation" trope once again. That run of wins in December feels like a long, long time ago. If I can draw a Bowie parallel, in the context of this season that run was his 1970's. We're now into his unfathomably awful 80's, somewhere in between "Tonight" and "Never Let Me Down". And if the analogy sticks, it doesn't really get much better for quite some time. We've still got to get through the Tin Machine period yet.

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Rotterdam 1985 Mon 04 Mar 2024, 11:42 pm

hairy cataract wrote:

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Won't be so bad. I've just checked and there are some big clubs in the Conference North - Scunthorpe, Hereford, Darlington. Also Brackley Town, just down the road from me where I used to take my team to play a tournament (lovely pitch, like a billiard table etc) every May Bank Holiday. Capacity is about 2,500 so I'm not sure what the away allocation will be but I would guess our subs' bench will be counted as part of it. Also Chester and Southport are there, so a couple of local derbies to look forward to, maybe three if Marine get promoted from the Northern League.

Do you fancy forming a breakaway club anyway, like FC United of Manchester? A phoenix club will be embarrassing, I'd rather start afresh. Ideas for names:

FC Everton of Liverpool
Notevertonnonono FC
Bailiff Dodgers FC
AFC Wank '24
Eintracht Walton
Sporting Club Kenwright

But I'm open to other ideas. I'll see if 777 are interested, this seems to be more their level.

hairy cataract Tue 05 Mar 2024, 8:28 am

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:
hairy cataract wrote:

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Won't be so bad. I've just checked and there are some big clubs in the Conference North - Scunthorpe, Hereford, Darlington. Also Brackley Town, just down the road from me where I used to take my team to play a tournament (lovely pitch, like a billiard table etc) every May Bank Holiday. Capacity is about 2,500 so I'm not sure what the away allocation will be but I would guess our subs' bench will be counted as part of it. Also Chester and Southport are there, so a couple of local derbies to look forward to, maybe three if Marine get promoted from the Northern League.

Do you fancy forming a breakaway club anyway, like FC United of Manchester? A phoenix club will be embarrassing, I'd rather start afresh. Ideas for names:

FC Everton of Liverpool
Notevertonnonono FC
Bailiff Dodgers FC
AFC Wank '24
Eintracht Walton
Sporting Club Kenwright

But I'm open to other ideas. I'll see if 777 are interested, this seems to be more their level.

hairy cataract Tue 05 Mar 2024, 8:28 am

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:
hairy cataract wrote:

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Won't be so bad. I've just checked and there are some big clubs in the Conference North - Scunthorpe, Hereford, Darlington. Also Brackley Town, just down the road from me where I used to take my team to play a tournament (lovely pitch, like a billiard table etc) every May Bank Holiday. Capacity is about 2,500 so I'm not sure what the away allocation will be but I would guess our subs' bench will be counted as part of it. Also Chester and Southport are there, so a couple of local derbies to look forward to, maybe three if Marine get promoted from the Northern League.

Do you fancy forming a breakaway club anyway, like FC United of Manchester? A phoenix club will be embarrassing, I'd rather start afresh. Ideas for names:

FC Everton of Liverpool
Notevertonnonono FC
Bailiff Dodgers FC
AFC Wank '24
Eintracht Walton
Sporting Club Kenwright

But I'm open to other ideas. I'll see if 777 are interested, this seems to be more their level.

Eintracht Walton is genius. I'd be proud to support that team.

fourdoors Tue 05 Mar 2024, 8:54 am

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:
hairy cataract wrote:

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Won't be so bad. I've just checked and there are some big clubs in the Conference North - Scunthorpe, Hereford, Darlington. Also Brackley Town, just down the road from me where I used to take my team to play a tournament (lovely pitch, like a billiard table etc) every May Bank Holiday. Capacity is about 2,500 so I'm not sure what the away allocation will be but I would guess our subs' bench will be counted as part of it. Also Chester and Southport are there, so a couple of local derbies to look forward to, maybe three if Marine get promoted from the Northern League.

Do you fancy forming a breakaway club anyway, like FC United of Manchester? A phoenix club will be embarrassing, I'd rather start afresh. Ideas for names:

FC Everton of Liverpool
Notevertonnonono FC
Bailiff Dodgers FC
AFC Wank '24
Eintracht Walton
Sporting Club Kenwright

But I'm open to other ideas. I'll see if 777 are interested, this seems to be more their level.

Surely AFC Wankathinaikos '24?

And if we're going to recreate the pre-Premier League era, then we could get a Greek shipping magnate to back us.

Yankthattoffee2 Tue 05 Mar 2024, 2:44 pm

fourdoors wrote:
Rotterdam 1985 wrote:
hairy cataract wrote:

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Won't be so bad. I've just checked and there are some big clubs in the Conference North - Scunthorpe, Hereford, Darlington. Also Brackley Town, just down the road from me where I used to take my team to play a tournament (lovely pitch, like a billiard table etc) every May Bank Holiday. Capacity is about 2,500 so I'm not sure what the away allocation will be but I would guess our subs' bench will be counted as part of it. Also Chester and Southport are there, so a couple of local derbies to look forward to, maybe three if Marine get promoted from the Northern League.

Do you fancy forming a breakaway club anyway, like FC United of Manchester? A phoenix club will be embarrassing, I'd rather start afresh. Ideas for names:

FC Everton of Liverpool
Notevertonnonono FC
Bailiff Dodgers FC
AFC Wank '24
Eintracht Walton
Sporting Club Kenwright

But I'm open to other ideas. I'll see if 777 are interested, this seems to be more their level.

Surely AFC Wankathinaikos '24?

And if we're going to recreate the pre-Premier League era, then we could get a Greek shipping magnate to back us.

Kenny and Billy will have to rewrite Spirit Of The Blues.
btw, someone else's turn to open the United game.

Rotterdam 1985 Wed 06 Mar 2024, 12:04 am

Yankthattoffee2 wrote:
fourdoors wrote:
Rotterdam 1985 wrote:
hairy cataract wrote:

Just to add to that miserable but realistic post, it might not even matter. The 777 situation must be resolved relatively soon and, if they are (correctly) knocked back by the PL for being the kind of people who try to sell you London Bridge and, if that fails, follow up with a phone call about an accident you recently had in your car, then they will immediately call in their loans. Unless Moshiri can get a couple of hundred million off his Uncle Alisher, then all sorts of shit is released. Will the ground build come to a halt, will we be unable to pay our wage bill, will a further points deduction for that be on the cards, followed by the collapse of the club into administration?

So, I see your "I've made my peace with idea of relegation", and I raise you "looking forward to the club starting again as FC Everton 1878 in the Vanarama National League North".

Won't be so bad. I've just checked and there are some big clubs in the Conference North - Scunthorpe, Hereford, Darlington. Also Brackley Town, just down the road from me where I used to take my team to play a tournament (lovely pitch, like a billiard table etc) every May Bank Holiday. Capacity is about 2,500 so I'm not sure what the away allocation will be but I would guess our subs' bench will be counted as part of it. Also Chester and Southport are there, so a couple of local derbies to look forward to, maybe three if Marine get promoted from the Northern League.

Do you fancy forming a breakaway club anyway, like FC United of Manchester? A phoenix club will be embarrassing, I'd rather start afresh. Ideas for names:

FC Everton of Liverpool
Notevertonnonono FC
Bailiff Dodgers FC
AFC Wank '24
Eintracht Walton
Sporting Club Kenwright

But I'm open to other ideas. I'll see if 777 are interested, this seems to be more their level.

Surely AFC Wankathinaikos '24?

And if we're going to recreate the pre-Premier League era, then we could get a Greek shipping magnate to back us.
Kenny and Billy will have to rewrite Spirit Of The Blues.
btw, someone else's turn to open the United game.

I'll do the United game. What's the worst that could happen?

Fourdoors, I'm open to the idea that we change our name in order to attract corporate investment. We'll need some big bucks if we're going to deal with the likes of Kings Lynn and Tamworth in the Conference North. In fact, I think we need some serious guerrilla marketing to really stand out, because let's face it, a 9-time champion, founding member of the football league at level 6 in the pyramid will probably go unnoticed by corporate types in their Arsenal and Spurs boxes.

I had an idea while reading about this game over the weekend. From week 1 of the new Lithuanian league season.

Everton v West Ham United - Page 2 Delete82

(Fuck knows how this stuff comes to my attention, by the way. I think it was on some uber-hipster football website I follow on Twitter.)

Anyway, this was a game between two teams that are named after their sponsors, who are both freight companies. Naturally, therefore, this game has been nicknamed "El Logistico" which I think is genius (Transinvest FC were only formed two years ago and are already in the top flight, which gives us hope.)

But - this is my brilliant idea - why stop there, with merely the name of the company sponsoring us? Why not use their full marketing tag line? For example:

Currie Motors (Nice People To Do Business With) FC
This One's For Me, It's Diet Coke, For Looking Good And Living Good It's Diet Coca-Colaaaaa FC
You Buy One You Get One Free I Say You Buy One You Get One Free Call Safestyle Windows on 0800 106107 NOW FC

Imagine James Alexander Gordon wrestling with such a name on the classified results round-up. And to think the Germans get upset about names like Red Bull Leipzig. We are the nation of unreconstructed in-your-face capitalism and we're the country that sold its national game to the corporate devil, so I think this is a natural progression and I want us to be first.

Eventually we might qualify for Europe again, and if the Germans stop being so FUCKING SENSITIVE about corporate intrusion into their football, we might get a dream draw against the mighty SV Vorsprung Durch Technik. Imagine our stadium in Widnes being sold out for that one? A full house of 3,000, packed to the rafters. "We love you Safestyle, we do." Inspirational stuff.

Why Do I Use Alpecin Caffeine Shampoo? Because It Works For Me FC

Or my personal favourite:

"Vanarama Conference North: Kings Lynn 2, Use Anusol Plus To Soothe Itching, Reduce Swelling and Relieve Pain FC 3."

This might all sound a bit far-fetched, but if 20 years ago someone had told you that Man City would literally be given a new stadium for free, be owned by an Arab nation state and would be champions of Europe, you'd have laughed, right? Football will do anything for an extra dollar. This just requires a bit of vision.

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