Arse v Everton

Tonteau wrote:Done ok overall but with no strikers we have to be perfect at the back. Myko a yard out of position for Saka’s opener (maybe a little harsh, good turn and finish to be fair) and Gueye totally switching off for the second. Haul off Maupay and maybe Gueye and get Gray and Mina up front for blackadder goes forth over the top ending.

I reckon the embarrassment factor of not signing a striker in the window and then sticking Mina up front is too much for them. Dyche is probably under orders not to play a CB up top under any circumstances.

We have 13 games to go, and probably at least 6 of them need to be won (or equivalent)
Tough.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Tonteau wrote:Done ok overall but with no strikers we have to be perfect at the back. Myko a yard out of position for Saka’s opener (maybe a little harsh, good turn and finish to be fair) and Gueye totally switching off for the second. Haul off Maupay and maybe Gueye and get Gray and Mina up front for blackadder goes forth over the top ending.

I reckon the embarrassment factor of not signing a striker in the window and then sticking Mina up front is too much for them. Dyche is probably under orders not to play a CB up top under any circumstances.

You use whatever is available?
Just to repeat, you can't get worse than nil.

We were great until they scored - it was a carbon copy of the Goodison game.

Sadly the FA seem to have introduced a new rule that doesn’t let Everton play any strikers. Definitely makes it harder for us to score.

Anyway it’s just a matter of how many Arse score now

Yes.

Holgate on for Gueye.
Whoop di do!

Yankthattoffee wrote:Holgate on for Gueye.
Whoop di do!

Gamechanger.

We haven't scored two in a game for four months. I might pop to the shops now.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:Holgate on for Gueye.
Whoop di do!

Gamechanger.

We haven't scored two in a game for four months. I might pop to the shops now.

before you do.....
https://www.google.com/search?q=the+hee+bee+gee+bees&oq=The+Hee+Bee+Gee+Bees&aqs=chrome.0.0i355i512j46i512j0i512j0i22i30l4j69i61.608j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:0f0d62c9,vid:bDj4paFzgMU

Yankthattoffee wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:Holgate on for Gueye.
Whoop di do!

Gamechanger.

We haven't scored two in a game for four months. I might pop to the shops now.

before you do.....
https://www.google.com/search?q=the+hee+bee+gee+bees&oq=The+Hee+Bee+Gee+Bees&aqs=chrome.0.0i355i512j46i512j0i512j0i22i30l4j69i61.608j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:0f0d62c9,vid:bDj4paFzgMU

 Have seen that before, but thanks for posting, we need some comedy on matchday threads these days.

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:Holgate on for Gueye.
Whoop di do!

Gamechanger.

We haven't scored two in a game for four months. I might pop to the shops now.

before you do.....
https://www.google.com/search?q=the+hee+bee+gee+bees&oq=The+Hee+Bee+Gee+Bees&aqs=chrome.0.0i355i512j46i512j0i512j0i22i30l4j69i61.608j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:0f0d62c9,vid:bDj4paFzgMU

 Have seen that before, but thanks for posting, we need some comedy on matchday threads these days.

At the final whistle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojeomAR-Rao

Godfrey is fucking dreadful. He fits right in.

But it does show just how good Seamus is, despite his advancing years.

Yankthattoffee wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:

Rotterdam 1985 wrote:

Yankthattoffee wrote:Holgate on for Gueye.
Whoop di do!

Gamechanger.

We haven't scored two in a game for four months. I might pop to the shops now.

before you do.....
https://www.google.com/search?q=the+hee+bee+gee+bees&oq=The+Hee+Bee+Gee+Bees&aqs=chrome.0.0i355i512j46i512j0i512j0i22i30l4j69i61.608j0j7&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8#fpstate=ive&vld=cid:0f0d62c9,vid:bDj4paFzgMU

 Have seen that before, but thanks for posting, we need some comedy on matchday threads these days.

At the final whistle

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojeomAR-Rao

there's enough on the fooking pitch thanks

This team are so soft. The gift that keeps giving.

Lumper wrote:This team are so soft. The gift that keeps giving.

I can safely say this is the worst Everton team in my lifetime.

Sad what our club has become. I just don't know how we're going to get back into the PL next season, we look so far off the required standard.

Think this one may have got away from us.

hairy cataract wrote:

Lumper wrote:This team are so soft. The gift that keeps giving.

I can safely say this is the worst Everton team in my lifetime.

Sad what our club has become.  I just don't know how we're going to get back into the PL next season, we look so far off the required standard.  

It’s hard to disagree. It’ll be a miracle to stay up and any decent player will gladly jump ship.

The worst thing is that they don’t appear to have the ability to identify decent targets. The club won’t improve until the current lot that are making the decisions are removed. It’s been bad decision after bad decision for too long. It’ll get a lot worse before it gets any better.

FUcking hell, how bad was Godfrey though?  Coleman is nearly 50 years old but he's still a million miles better than that useless fucker.

edit: shows how bad he is, I've already posted that earlier

Well, this result changes nothing, apart from our goal difference.

At least the Shite did us a favour, that's something from tonight.

hairy cataract wrote:

Lumper wrote:This team are so soft. The gift that keeps giving.

I can safely say this is the worst Everton team in my lifetime.

Sad what our club has become.  I just don't know how we're going to get back into the PL next season, we look so far off the required standard.  

It's right up there with the 1998 team. That was pretty awful. I think the striker situation probably makes this squad worse.

Mickael Madar? How we laughed. But he was 6' 3" and scored 6 in 19 for us. We could use those numbers right now.

Will Dyche decide to change it up a bit now? Go simms and gray up top in a bid to actually score against forest? He seems to love Maupay because of his work ethic but surely we have to score a goal at some point to stand a chance of staying up?

We were great for 40 minutes tonight but never looked like scoring. We need to replicate that but with a goal threat.

Good luck with that Sean

hairy cataract wrote:Will Dyche decide to change it up a bit now? Go simms and gray up top in a bid to actually score against forest? He seems to love Maupay because of his work ethic but surely we have to score a goal at some point to stand a chance of staying up?

We were great for 40 minutes tonight but never looked like scoring. We need to replicate that but with a goal threat.

Good luck with that Sean

There was a chance in the first half where we broke and it was about 3 on 3. Good ball out to McNeill who pinged it nicely into the path of Maupay in the box and you just knew he wasn’t even going to get a shot on target. One touch and eaten up by a defender. Demoralising.

The second half seemed like the kind played by a team which knew they didn’t have a chance of getting back into the game.

Agreed we were good until the goal. Gueye is becoming a liability. Cost us two goals in the past two games. Second tonight before half time really was the nail in the coffin. Was all for him signing but maybe the pace of the league getting a bit much for him.

Tonteau wrote:

hairy cataract wrote:Will Dyche decide to change it up a bit now? Go simms and gray up top in a bid to actually score against forest? He seems to love Maupay because of his work ethic but surely we have to score a goal at some point to stand a chance of staying up?

We were great for 40 minutes tonight but never looked like scoring. We need to replicate that but with a goal threat.

Good luck with that Sean

There was a chance in the first half where we broke and it was about 3 on 3. Good ball out to McNeill who pinged it nicely into the path of Maupay in the box and you just knew he wasn’t even going to get a shot on target. One touch and eaten up by a defender. Demoralising.

The second half seemed like the kind played by a team which knew they didn’t have a chance of getting back into the game.

Agreed we were good until the goal. Gueye is becoming a liability. Cost us two goals in the past two games. Second tonight before half time really was the nail in the coffin. Was all for him signing but maybe the pace of the league getting a bit much for him.

The French league is pretty slow, and dull as a result. I don't watch as much European footy as I used to but I still see a good few games every season. Haven't really seen any Spanish stuff for a couple of years since Sky lost the rights. Of the big leagues, the Bundesliga is probably second to the PL in terms of the pace of the game. The Italian league is significantly quicker than it used to be. French games are often played in slow motion, like Serie A was in the 80's.

Maybe he's slowing physically as well, but I've thought a few times since Gueye came back that maybe his mind is still working at French League pace.

Armchair wrote:Time to change things. 451 is fine if you are happy with a 0-0, but we need wins now so we have to be more positive. Drop Gueye and play 442 with Simms and Maupay/Gray upfront. We need to beat Forest.

Problem is that our leaves our midfield a bit more open, with no "terrier" type player to nick the ball off the opposition. The other option would be to play Gray as the "one" in a 4-5-1 but, as yesterday illustrated, he's so lightweight when it comes to holding up the ball that he simply can't operate on his own, even though he's got tons of pace to break the lines of the opposition defence.

I actually think Dyche will persist with Maupay. He said some weird thing in his press conference about the longer a player goes without scoring, the more likely he is to score in the next match. Now that might sound logical if you're talking about tosses of a coin, but I would have thought the theory doesn't apply to footballers, especially footballers as terrible as Maupay.

We really do look like a doomed team. The subs were even worse than the players they replaced, which is shocking when the players they replaced were so poor (with the exception of Coleman, who now actually looks to be our best player by a mile, despite his age and the calls for him to retire last season). McNeil is playing well to be fair.

We're doomed. I think there's a good chance we'll be put out of misery a long time before the last game of the season unless DCL comes back and performs a miracle, which seems unlikely.

hairy cataract wrote:

Armchair wrote:Time to change things. 451 is fine if you are happy with a 0-0, but we need wins now so we have to be more positive. Drop Gueye and play 442 with Simms and Maupay/Gray upfront. We need to beat Forest.

Problem is that our leaves our midfield a bit more open, with no "terrier" type player to nick the ball off the opposition.  The other option would be to play Gray as the "one" in a 4-5-1 but, as yesterday illustrated, he's so lightweight when it comes to holding up the ball that he simply can't operate on his own, even though he's got tons of pace to break the lines of the opposition defence.

I actually think Dyche will persist with Maupay.  He said some weird thing in his press conference about the longer a player goes without scoring, the more likely he is to score in the next match.  Now that might sound logical if you're talking about tosses of a coin, but I would have thought the theory doesn't apply to footballers, especially footballers as terrible as Maupay.

We really do look like a doomed team.  The subs were even worse than the players they replaced, which is shocking when the players they replaced were so poor (with the exception of Coleman, who now actually looks to be our best player by a mile, despite his age and the calls for him to retire last season).  McNeil is playing well to be fair.

We're doomed.  I think there's a good chance we'll be put out of misery a long time before the last game of the season unless DCL comes back and performs a miracle, which seems unlikely.

We've looked doomed all season though. We've felt like we were doomed since Richarlison left. I remember saying around September time that we just need to hang on and not get detached at the bottom, and then bring some reinforcements in the January window, and we all felt doomed when that didn't happen.

And yet, somehow, we're not miles adrift. In the bottom three, yes, but with 7 or 8 teams for company down there.

All rational thought and logic points to us going down. When push comes to shove it's the teams that have a goalscorer that tend to stay up, when they conjure something up in a close game. I agree that things are looking very, very bleak.

I still haven't lost hope though, because I know from a lifetime of (fun) gambling just how often logic and rational thought goes out of the window in football. The job I do requires logic and analytical skills. If I have those skills and like a bet, how come I'm not fleecing the bookies every week? Because, to coin a phrase, it's a funny old game.

I've also worked for loads of senior knobheads in my time who don't like detail, but instead like me to summarise complex problems in either a number or a graph/picture, so that they only have to think about it for 5 seconds before they bark some unachievable instruction prior to fucking off for the afternoon to play golf.

For what it's worth, my assessment/gut feeling right now is that we have a 20 - 30% chance of staying up. That number is based on the fact that we're not the only shit team down there, and also on DCL coming back early enough to make some kind of difference. If he were to not set foot on the field again this season then the number would go down to about 5%.

And in a picture.....?